Shadow's Embrace
by Lumiwolf
Summary: There are fragments of Hinata's former self disappearing by the day. Her emotions, thoughts, and expressions have been sullied. And the last glimmers of hope that she ever thought she could cling onto turned into the form of Shikamaru.
1. Hope

**AN: Hello all! Long time no see. I am putting my other story on hiatus and had this other one I just had to jump on. It's different than anything I have published so far and should elicit some sort of feelings (most likely negative but hopefully positive in the chapters to come).**

**Rated M for Violence**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto :P**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: Hope<strong>

The stench of musk filled the air. Faintly, she could hear the sound of dripping water. And occasionally, there was the sound of rust withering away at the chains that cut deep into her wrists. She could feel the flesh that had healed open up again as she shifted her weight. Her lips felt dry and her body ached as her feet barely touched the ground.

The fabric covering her eyes made it very difficult to decipher where exactly she had been or how long she had been there. She couldn't tell night from day or remember whether or not she was awake or dreaming. Everything felt like a dream to her. But those dreams were only wishes that would never come true for her. Those false realities became coherent and more real than she'd ever imagined.

Her nightmare was a man without a face. And every day that man reminded her of the terror he sought to bring upon her. This torture had gone on for such a long time that often times she'd forgotten what they'd been torturing her for. What information did they seek to pull from her? She had refused to speak in the beginning, but the more the negative actions continued against her the more she forgot what it even was.

In the distance she could hear the rustling of grass and then eventually the nearness of footsteps. The sound of feet sliding against the floor was not something she was completely unfamiliar with. Her body stiffened the closer they became. The footsteps slowed to a stop and a low chuckle reverberated throughout the room. "This long and you're still afraid of me coming near? By now, you should be used to it." The voice was low and wicked. It was as if his words were lashing at her skin and then lacing around her throat.

Her breath was caught. She thought that she'd become attuned to this. Again, Hinata knew that these were false realities that she'd somehow imagined. She exhaled and tried to relax her body. She knew exactly how he'd get if she hadn't and it only made things more difficult for her. He moved closer to her and she could feel his breath against her neck. She hated it; she hated it when he came so close to her. He made her skin crawl and her mind uneasy.

There was nothing he wouldn't do to her.

There was nothing he hadn't really done to her.

Well, _almost _nothing.

"What a pretty little Hyuga. You have such fair skin and beautiful hair." He mused as he ran his fingers through her damp hair. "I surely wouldn't want to have to hurt you anymore. We've been going at this for days and you haven't said a peep. But it doesn't take much for a shinobi to break especially a female one. Just tell me. Tell me exactly what you've exchanged with the Sunagakure and I will let you go. You won't be tortured any longer and you are free to go back to your family and live the life of a princess once again." His fake kindness was masked by his malicious intentions.

She knew that she couldn't speak. It was their code that they never speak. She would never say a word about what had been going on between her village and the Sand. The information that she'd been holding on to had been very important. It was a task in which she knew that she could end up dying doing. But that didn't stop her from doing it, now did it?

The Hyuga remained silent. She would never say anything. She would keep her vows and remain seemingly impassive. Her mind remained blank and the only thing that she focused on were thoughts of escaping because if she stopped, she knew that she would give up. Hinata knew that she would break and lose hope of ever being saved.

Irritated, the man sighed. He rubbed his jaw and paced around her. He was really getting tired of playing these games with her. "Do you enjoy me inflicting pain on you, hm? Do you like being tortured for the greater good of your little village?" There he was. There was the man that she'd come to know. She could hear him rummaging in his bag and then jumped at the feeling of cold steel against her flesh. Hinata began to wiggle instinctively as if she were going to break free of what bound her.

Nothing she could do or try to muster up would save her. They had done something to her, placed a seal on her, to make it impossible for her to use her chakra. She felt weak and helpless. "Not again…not again…" She muttered as she wiggled her body.

"Not again? You brought this on yourself!" He spat as he stabbed her in her side. The dark haired screamed in agony. She continued to writhe and dangle in the air, her skin breaking again. Her legs kicked outward and the man simple moved out of her way. "So you do have something left in you." He laughed as he withdrew his kunai. "Perhaps what's left in you is the information that I need. Speak up now and we could end this."

Hinata grunted and whimpered silently. Somewhere in the dark corners of her mind, she was trying to pull those happy thoughts out. She had to think that way or else she would lose all hope. Yes, she had to remind herself of what good would come out of this. She would remain silent on the subject and take whatever he tossed at her, because she couldn't allow another invasion of the village. Their faces reminded her of what she wanted to protect. So she grunted through the pain and held back her tears.

He scoffed. "That's not enough for you?" Her breathing quickened as she anticipated the next assault. He jabbed his finger in her wound, digging around in her flesh. Hinata gasped and cried out once more, her body trembling in pain. The enigma grabbed at her cheeks and squeezed as he removed his finger from her open wound. "Are you going to speak up now? Hm?"

As she attempted to catch her breath and ignore the pain passing through her body, she could hear the grass shuffle again and eventually the footsteps became louder and closer. Perhaps it was another one of his cronies coming to save her from this agony. Well, perhaps _save _wasn't the best word to use. It was more like take his attention off of her for a few moments so that she could reel herself back into a calm state.

"What is it?!" He spat, his voice filled with venom. He removed his hand from her face, allowing her head to drop.

"S-sir, I think we need to speak in private." His underling muttered. They were silent for a few moments and then she could hear them shuffle off into a corner, still not too far from her. Hinata attempted to listen in on as much as she could while storing away the pain momentarily. It must have been important if he couldn't say with what he felt like was within direct earshot of her.

"What is it?" She heard the boss begin the exchange.

"Sir, our information tells us that Leaf Shinobi have found where we are."

"How am I just now receiving this information? How long have you known this?" His voice only rose slightly, but Hinata did not stir. She couldn't let them know that she could hear them. _Leaf Shinobi? _She thought as her heart beat quickened.

"We've only just found out. I don't know if they are camped around here or if we'll be able to relocate." There was another silence and then she could hear the boss exhale before giving out his next order.

"Scour the area. Don't leave a single rock unturned. Find them before they can confirm this information. Based off of what we know, they may not have had the chance to send off the intel back to their village. You'd better hope that that is the case." He warned.

"Understood," Then, there were shuffling of footsteps and more silence. At first, Hinata presumed that she was alone, but she knew that was a mistake. She could feel his presence and then his heat emanating from his body. He was close to her almost pressing against her body. He ran his fingers up her spine and then down her front.

"I'm not done with you." He whispered in her ear. Her body shuddered and rejected the very idea of him being that close to her. She clenched her jaw and tried her best to withstand his presence for a moment longer. She would have much rather suffer in silence than have him as company. "I'll be back pretty lady."

She listened as he made his way out of the area. When she could no longer hear his footsteps, she wiggled against the chains again and then sighed. Her mind began to wander and imagine all the things she could've been doing or the things she would like to be doing. She loved to press flowers and the smell of wisterias in the spring. She could feel the rays of sunlight against her cold skin and see the smiles of many civilians as she walked through the village.

She smiled to herself and felt her eyes water. Would she really ever be able to see any of that again? Her friends? Her family?

Her last flicker of hope was just that, a mere flicker. The scope of light that she had in the beginning had begun to dim and eventually it was going to fade.

She felt like she was going to die.

This man was really going to kill her.

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><p>Everything had been extremely hectic in the village. There were stacks of paperwork piled on the Hokage's desk. None of which she had seemed to be able to focus on because of a certain shinobi in the village. And here he was, walking in for the third time today and who knows how many times this week. He placed a sheet of paper in front of her, his face filled with determination. There was no way he was going to let her do anything else, but view the circumstances of this mission.<p>

Everyone was worried and it was his job to make sure that everyone in the village remained safe. As troublesome as it was, the Nara couldn't bear to see everyone so dismal without the Hyuga around. Who knew the girl would land such an impact on everyone. She had always been so quiet and caused very little trouble compared to the other women in the village. Perhaps that could have been part of the reason why everyone had been acting the way they had.

Being the senior to all his friends, it seemed as though the task lie on his shoulders. Other than that, he had always been on the front lines for all the major missions. If Sasuke was important enough to attempt to retrieve, then so would Hinata. He couldn't, however, accept the fact that Tsunade made the assumption that she'd already been dead. No one was able to accept that conclusion.

Hell, he couldn't even accept it.

So in the end, he ended up doing a lot of the footwork and providing Tsunade with a lot of stress and complaints. He hated complaining and being complained to, but this was important. And he would do everything in his power to see to it that they all received the answers that they all needed.

Where was she and was she okay?

When only a day had gone by and she hadn't returned, no one thought anything of it. As a matter of fact, everyone's response to her absence had been normal. They expected her to return within two or three days, especially since she had spoken to everyone about it being a reconnaissance mission. Those types of missions never took long considering all she needed to do was observe the rogue ninja's base and report back. However, not everything goes according to plan. Hinata never returned after about five days and all of her comrades became extremely concerned.

Hinata had never been the type to take on missions like that. But since there was a shortage of ninja, she took on the job. Tsunade hadn't denied her offer, simply because Hinata had all the tools for going on the mission. She had her vision which could see at long distances. Hinata had been able to even surpass her cousin, Neji after his death. She had shown promise over the last few years in the village and had gained even the respect of her own clan based on her strength.

Hinata had not been the frail individual that everyone had grown to love as kids. She had matured as a young woman and continued to push herself every day. This, however, did not mean that people were opposed to her mission. Shikamaru had been over many of plans of action regarding the shinobi in the village. This particular mission had been giving them trouble, so Hinata's vision would have been very viable in this situation. Shikamaru, however, also knew where she would be headed and the dangers she would be engaging herself in.

When word got back to him that she hadn't returned to the village, he pushed Tsunade every day to search for her. The area that she last reported in had come up empty and the only lead that they had was hearsay from a rogue ninja that they had interrogated in the woods. It was their word that guided his decision and his careful planning. It wasn't until today that he'd finally gotten a breakthrough. Yes, finally. He was able to show Tsunade that his efforts weren't for nothing. If this was their hideout, then not only were they possibly able to liberate Hinata, but also take down the head of all negative operations against Konoha.

He was taking down two birds with one stone. Or at least, he was making it a bit more appealing to their Hokage. He had been trying to send people out there, but she wasn't having it. After losing Hinata in the midst of it all, she refused to put anyone else in danger. So, when he began his investigation, he made a deal with her. He would go out there himself to find her and that was definitely something that she couldn't turn down. It was only because she knew that he was more than capable of handling himself. He had excelled beyond his peers in a short period of time and had headed many important missions while she had been in office.

What more could he add to his resume to prove his worth? Besides, Hinata was one of his friends. He couldn't just idly sit by while knowing the possibility of her current status.

"Back again, I see. I'm assuming you have something that we can use?" Tsunade began reading the report.

Shikamaru reached back and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I've got a few things. This time, it's stuff that we can go on. I found out where they're hiding out at. I'm not sure if she's there or not, but this is a big lead. This is the best thing we've had for days."

Tsunade continued to read the document. When she was finished, she placed the paper on her desk and then leaned back in her chair. "I don't want to waste our resources on what might be. I want to make sure she is there and that nothing has been jeopardized. There was a lot on the line when she went out there to begin with…"

"If I may, this might be out of turn, but I don't think we should be focusing on the politics of it all. If she's been out there for this long, I would say that she hasn't said anything. Right now we should be more focused on saving her from whatever hell hole she's trapped in." Shikamaru's voice was filled with a slight irritation. If there was anything that he hated more with the Hokage, is her inability to see the true side of things sometimes. She was always so focused on her job, which he always appreciated. She had done a great deal for the village over the past few years but sometimes he wished she was a bit more empathetic to these things. He knew he had to do his job and stick to his duties, but there were times that he wished she understood that these people were more than just comrades, but friends and family.

Tsunade sighed. "Fine, you are permitted to go on this mission. If she is there, make sure that you get her and get out. We don't want anyone else caught up in this mess and have to go on another rescue mission."

Shikamaru nodded as his face lit up. "Thank you."

"And another thing," Tsunade began as she lifted the piece of paper that she handed him. "If you find her there and she's…" The Fifth trailed off. Her face became grim and eyes filled with a quiet mourning. It was not something that she particularly wanted to think about or assume, but every angle had to be probed.

"If it's the Hinata that we all know, she's fighting to live. I'm going to bring her back." Shikamaru simply replied as he turned heel to leave her office.

As he made his way down the stairs, both Tenten and Ino awaited for him at the bottom. They both looked at him expectantly. "The mission is a go, but I can't take you guys with me. You weren't approved to set off on the mission."

"What do you mean we can't go? If she's out there you're going to need a medic." Ino snapped, seemingly becoming impatient with him.

"Besides we're her friends too. We have to be there for her." Tenten's eyes were filled with worry.

"What a drag…" He sighed as he rubbed his neck again out of habit. "Listen, I can't take you with me because you guys weren't approved to go. You know how Tsunade is. I had to pull teeth just to get this going. Just trust me and I promise I'll bring her back."

Ino simply smiled. Deep down she knew she could trust Shikamaru with this task. He had never let anyone down before. If there was one person in the whole village she knew she could trust it was Shikamaru. "Alright, I trust you'll bring her back." Shikamaru nodded towards her and then looked at Tenten who still seemed a bit apprehensive.

"Fine, if I know you're out there going to get her then I know you'll bring her back. I just hope she's okay." Tenten muttered.

Shikamaru sighed as he rubbed the side of his jaw. He hoped that she was okay as well. For all he knew, she could've been dead and the promises that he had been making were ones that he couldn't keep. He had run the idea through his mid several times before actually presenting it to the Hokage and telling any of his friends about it. The possibility of her being there in one piece was slim but life had always been about chance. Many of the decisions in his life had been made based on those slim chances. Planning ahead until he got tired and examining all aspects was a part of his job.

Now all that was left was to gather up the ninja that he needed to go to the camp. And since he received the approval just now, he knew that he had no time to lose. Hinata had been there long enough and he would bring her back as promised regardless of her status.

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><p><strong>AN: Well this is but the start and then I'm posting the next chapter immediately. XD <strong>


	2. Inquisition

**AN: Okay here is chapter two as promise. *sigh* Oh man...I am prepared for whatever negative thing I may receive, but don't forget to remind yourself that you don't have to ride this wave with me or read this okay? But I would appreciate it if you would, lol xD**

**Rated M for Violence and Sexual Content [Please Please Please, listen to me when I say that Violent/Sexual Content go together in this story. If you cannot handle this, please don't read]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Inquisition<strong>

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><p>For the first time in a long time, everything felt warm. She could feel the sun's rays against her skin and the smell of sunflowers enriched the air. She enjoyed this feeling. She could feel the grass between her toes and the wind in her hair. The sunflowers gave off a soft glow, making her smile at the genuine beauty of the scenery. Nothing was better than this. Nothing brought her more joy than being in the presence of flowers and enjoying her freedom.<p>

Life couldn't have been better.

"Hey!" She could hear soft echoes in her head. Hinata tried her best to focus on the flowers before her. But gradually they began to burn as flames spread across the field of sunflowers. They burned until there was nowhere that she could escape to and eventually engulfed her.

The smell of burning flesh filled her nostrils and caused her to cry out in pain. She squirmed and kicked her legs in an attempt to fend off her offender. Her whole body trembled as she felt her inner thigh roasting. She bit her lip so hard that she could taste her own blood. It hurt so much. Still, she couldn't see what was going on, but she could imagine what he had used to reel her from her fantasies.

From her false realities.

"It seems as though I have your attention now. I really didn't want to have to do that, but I did promise you I would return. Yet, when I returned, you didn't even take the time to greet it." He reached forward to wipe the blood from her lip. She trembled at his touch. She didn't know how much more that she could actually take. She had still been trying to recover from the stab wound she received yesterday. He had made it impossible to subdue the pain in any way possible.

He wanted her to feel everything. He wanted to see her writhe in agony and continued to cling onto those hopes so that he could bring them down. Hinata hated to admit it, but he was doing an excellent job.

"Do I have your attention now?" He jeered.

"Y-Yes…" She managed out as she lowered her head.

"Alright, Lady….Hinata was it? Tell me what you know. I know, I know…we've done this so many times and I always get the same results right? But today is going to be different. Do you know why today is going to be different?" He asked redundantly, not expecting a real answer from her. "Because today is the day you are going to tell me what I want to know. Because you do wanna live, right? You're tired of me torturing you, right? Answer me…"

Hinata swallowed and tried to find strength in her broken voice. But something in her stopped working. At first, she couldn't think properly. She thought if she supplicated with him, then eventually he would have to set her free? If she screamed, if she begged, if she cried; would he let her go? But instead of doing any of those things, she began to laugh. She laughed so much that the pain she felt had dissipated. Hinata lifted her head up, as if she could see the culprit before her. "I'm not telling you anything. I will never betray my village. So you might as well kill me and save yourself the trouble."

Silence filled the room again. What was he thinking? What expression did he have on his face? These trivial questions continued to march through her mind. Perhaps her reaction surprised him? She didn't know where that came from. It was just so sudden, because before she knew it was she was spewing out arrogance at him. She had at first accepted defeat and then became complacent with death itself. There was nothing in her mind that could dissuade her. Not even the blissful thought of being rescued by her fellow shinobi.

The enigma just laughed. He laughed so much that she could feel the discomfort at the pit of her stomach begin to grow. She should've known that he wouldn't make this easy on her. Now she had to face her consequences. If she could just bear whatever he threw at her, then maybe she had a bit of her sanity left.

"You think that I would be so kind as to allow you to die? You think that you can just get away from me?" He chuckled quietly. "No, that would be much too easy if I just let you die. That would just mean that you win." He leaned in close to her body, running his hands down her body past her navel. His hand rested on her warm mound and massaged it gently. "I'm going to break you."

Her body tensed as tears welled in her eyes. No, she wanted anything but this. _Anything. _Her breathing hitched as the anxiety welled in her chest. She clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. Right now, she wanted to imagine anything that would pull her from this reality. She didn't want to be present for anything that he was about to do to her. She didn't want to be defiled or be violated by his salacious gestures.

No. Anything but this.

She could feel his hands run up her body and grope her breasts roughly. His kisses were rugged and forceful as he kissed around her neck and collar bone. She shook her head in an attempt to bat him away. _Get off me…Get off me…_ was the only thing she could think. The words, they wouldn't come out. The feelings, they wouldn't subside.

_Get off me…Get off me…._

Her mind continued on repeat. Her body continued to reject him. Hinata continued to try and find her place of happiness. She continued to try and find her perfect solitude. But he had trapped her there. Her mind could no longer wander as he focused so intently on her body. And the harder that he tried to make her enjoy it and find pleasure, the more frustrated he sounded. Every now and again as he rubbed against her body, she could hear him grunt in dissatisfaction and feel him bite at her skin in anger.

"If you won't make it easier for yourself, then so be it." Hinata could hear the quiet rustling of fabric and then felt her own panties slip from her legs and off her feet. She then felt those rough hands again, prying her mouth open. In it, he stuffed her own panties in her mouth causing her to move even more frantically. Again, she felt the metal rub against her skin and bruise them further.

_No…No…Please…_

She grunted, her mouth stuffed and lower half exposed. He was really going to do it. He was prepared to break her. By any means necessary, he was going to ruin her. Was this really worth saving the village over? Was this really worth holding onto their secrets? Did her physical and mental being mean that much less to her than her own home?

Within the next few moments she could feel his hand, moist with his saliva, rub her slit. Her breathing remained sporadic as she continued to furiously kick and scream behind the gag. _Stop it, Stop it! _She could hear herself say it in her mind, but on the outside it all sounded like muffled cries and screams.

He continued to handle her roughly as he gained control of her legs and pinned them apart. She continued to struggle against him, but there was nothing that she could do to prevent him from piercing her with his cock. Initially she held her breath and then exhaled slow, deep sobs. Tears streamed down her face as he continued to thrust into her, tearing at her insides.

He reached up and pulled her hair, tugging her head to side in order to expose her neck. He ran his tongue up it and nipped at her earlobe. She eventually stopped struggling against him and continued to cry. It seemed to be the only thing that she was capable of doing. There was nothing left in her to fight back and there was no means of her escaping. Her body just shut down.

As the tears slipped down her face, she felt her mind go blank. It was as if her soul had seeped out of her body and that glimmer of hope had faded away. He said he was going to break her and he meant just that. Her breathing became even and as he continued to screw her limp body, she could feel his hot breath against her skin. His hand snaked around her neck as he began to squeeze against her throat.

He moved forcefully against her body until finally, he released his seed within her. She could feel her body become sullied and impure. When he was done, he removed himself and she could hear more fabric shuffling. "Did I break you?" He asked his voiced filled with malice. "Now, maybe you'll talk." Hinata remained silent. Part of her felt so distant, so empty. There were things she could no longer see. Thoughts she could no longer think. And there was a feeling that she could no longer feel.

He had really done it. He had broken her.

"I guess I'll give you some time to think about everything. I know that hag has gotten some things that she wanted you to hold on to. But you will tell me. You will tell me everything that I need to know, because you're the only one who knows the secrets. Why else would she send you out here?" He brushed at her bangs and lifted her head a bit. "We'll talk soon, okay?" He released her and then allowed her head to dip off to the side again.

As he walked out of the room, in the distance she could hear his muffled orders to one of his subordinates. And then there was more shuffling before she was soaked with water and left hanging to dry.

So this was it.

In the dark corners of her mind, she could see the yellow glow of the sunflowers and smell the faint scent of their petals. What was left of that fantasy began to scatter into the darkness and what consumed her was her own grief.

Was it worth it?

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><p>A day's work made all of what he'd found seem too easy. Shikamaru had managed to find out where the area was that Hinata had last been around. It wasn't too far from the village, since his caravan had managed to make it to the area in about a day, this also gave Shikamaru time to decipher exactly what had been going on.<p>

Along the borders of where he believed to be the spot, there appeared to be markers. They were very small and seemingly insignificant to anyone that walked by, but with enough effort Shikamaru was able to figure out exactly what had been going on. It made him wonder whether or not Hinata had gone much further at all after reporting back to Tsunade earlier during the week. It was probably something he would probably just have to ask her about once he got her back.

He really did hope she was okay. Sometimes, he would see her around and thought she appeared so helpless. Every little thing would bother her and make her blush. She was always so soft-spoken and kindhearted to everyone. There was never a moment he could think of that someone needed help that Hinata wouldn't offer assistance. But now, Hinata had gone off and made trouble for herself. She'd up and thrown him into her little mess.

Women were always so much trouble.

Shikamaru sighed as he stared at the maps that had been handed to them. He had to be certain that this was the right place. It was surprising that the area that they'd managed to make it to was so close to the village. The unfortunate part about it was that none of the scouts realized the level of genjutsu that was being used to cloak the cave. As two members of his squad attempted to break the genjutsu, he readied his equipment and prepared for what me may or may not see inside the cavern.

After they prepared their entry, Shikamaru send scouts ahead to see if there were any signs of trouble before proceeding forward. When he was given the all clear, Shikamaru moved swiftly towards the cavern. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a kunai as he dashed forward towards the entrance. _So far, so good…_he thought as he kept his eyes open to his surroundings.

When they'd all arrived in a clearing they could see a few guards near the entrance of the cave. Shikamaru nodded ahead and both ninja swiftly dashed forward to take out the guards. They checked their pockets for some sort of identification or clues to other things that could give them a lead in the case. They found nothing.

"Shit." Shikamaru cursed under his breath as he peered into the dark cavern. Slowly, they walked ahead, keeping their feet light as they moved against the cool wall. The further in they went inside, the lighter that the cave became. And once they came to the cavern's dead end, Shikamaru could see small candles that lit the area. He could see scattered pieces of paper, a bucket, and then finally his eyes rested on Hinata. He opened his mouth as if wanting to call out to her or at least give an order to his squadron, but nothing came out.

He was perplexed, lost, and unable to find the right response. This was not a sight that was he was expecting to see and it was surely not something that he had hoped had happened to her. The two shinobi beside him looked to him expectantly; neither of them were able to bear seeing her like that either.

Shikamaru rushed over to her and moved to remove the chains that bound her. "Search the area. Search for any kind of clues to find out where they might have gone or who they are. Prepare everything so that we can take it back to the village." He muttered as he fumbled with the chains. He had never seen anything like it. His hands shook as he finally freed her arms and allowed her to lean into his chest. The Nara stared down at her pale face and then down the entirety of her body.

What did they do to her?

There were bruises up and down her body. There was never a part of her that wasn't covered in bruises other than her face. Her lips were dry and split. He could tell that she had bit down onto it. It was must have been while she was trying to bear the brunt of the pain she felt. He down to pull the piece of fabric from her mouth and then unraveled it to examine what it was.

As soon as he realized, he shouted anxiously, "Give me something to cover her up! Hurry!" Shikamaru demanded as he stared down at her legs. They were covered in blood and…._Ugh._ Her body was more than just bruised, but defiled and belittled. Someone showed up with a small blanket that had been found and Shikamaru wrapped her body quickly so that he wouldn't further embarrass her. She wasn't awake and she wasn't moving.

He leaned into her chest in order to listen for a heartbeat. Good, she was a live. Her breathing appeared even, but her body temperature was warm. Shikamaru then reached for the blindfold that covered her eyes and once it was off, he found that her eyes were wide open. "Hinata….hey, Hinata are you alright? What happened? What-?" His barrage of questions stopped when he noticed how lifeless her eyes were. She was alive but she wasn't. It was as though everything that he knew about Hinata wasn't there. Whatever they'd done to her, whatever had happened here destroyed the joy that Hinata had in her eyes.

The life.

He shook her a bit more and whispered her name, "Hinata?" The inflection of his voice made her body twitch and eventually he received a response from her. Her empty eyes narrowed before she turned her head towards him completely. She was silent and appeared almost doll-like in posture as she looked into his eyes. He parted his lips to speak to her again, but then tears began to swell in her eyes. Slowly, they slid down her cheek as she continued to look up at him in silence. She lifted her battered arms up and wrapped them around his neck before burying her face into his chest.

"It's alright. We're going home." He mumbled to her before scooping her up bridal-style. "Let's get out of here. Take everything that you can so that we can report back to the Hokage." He glanced down at Hinata once again, who'd begun to grip him even tighter.

He did promise to take her back.

But he didn't think it would be like this.

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><p><strong>AN: Alright. Hope you enjoyed it. I know this was kind of heavy and I'm sure there are heavier things out there xD. Let me know what your thoughts are! [Lumiwolf]<strong>


	3. Neurosis

**AN: Hey guys, Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! I'll leave my comments about how I feel about this so far at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: Neurosis<strong>

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><p>Bright white light beamed overhead. She'd been staring into it for only a short period of time. All that she could remember was seeing Shikamaru's face and then suddenly she was awake on a cold bed. She looked around and saw many medical supplies and operating tools. Hinata then lifted her hands and watched as she opened and closed her fists.<p>

Had she been dreaming?

She sat up on her bed and checked her wrists. They had healed yet had faint scarring on them. And then it hit her. The sounds of chains rattling and grinding against her flesh flickered through her mind. She winced at the thought and reached to touch her head. It was real. All of it was real and none of it was something she could take back. But if _everything _had been real, then that must have meant that….

Her eyes traveled down to her thighs. She touched in between them, feeling an unsettling anxiety at the pit of her stomach. She lurched at the very thought of an unknown man touching her body. Hinata could still feel his hands ravishing her very being and tainting her every thought. She worked so hard to fight against him and to fend him off all for the sake of everyone else. She felt like a failure. How was she supposed to face everyone else?

She slid off the bed and went over to the sink in the room. She ran the water for a bit before splashing some on her face. As she lifted her gaze, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. On her arms she could see bruises all over. The Hyuga lifted her hospital gown and could also see bruises on her legs and then when she lifted it further a scar on her side. Frail hands reached to touch it only to have her flinch back. Just the very feeling of it reminded her of every moment she had to suffer. She remembered the pain and could hear her own screams.

She could hear his slimy voice and his moist tongue slither up her neck. A chill went down her spine as she looked at this person in the mirror. Who was she? What had she become? What happened to her? These thoughts ran through her mind as she reached up to touch her own face. The only thing that he hadn't harmed was her face. In her mind she could remember him telling her how beautiful she was and how he wanted her to remain that way.

The torture that she had been through and the scars that she bore were going to be with her forever. It was her first real experience with that sort of thing. Her innocence was taken from her, her sanity and her will to continue to be a shinobi. Everything she had ever been taught made no sense to her. The only thing that she could think of was the things that had been done to her. The scenes kept playing over and over, but she couldn't see the face of her offender.

_Get off me…Get off me…_

Her thoughts bounced sporadically from her cries and the breaking of her own flesh. She could feel him pierce her warmth and drive into her over and over again. His rough hands had somehow embedded themselves in her body. Her flesh began to burn and the face that she saw in the mirror was not her own. Her face was nonexistent and all that was visible were the cuts and bruises and blood and seeped from her pores.

It was a nightmare.

She couldn't even bear to look at herself without hearing his voice. She could hear him, whispering in her ear over and over. She screamed and grabbed the nearest object before shattering her reflection. She couldn't bear it as she crumpled to the floor and began to sob.

What was happening to her? What had he done to her?

The door to her room burst open and as she peered between her fingers she recognized the blond that had entered: Ino. She hurried by Hinata's side and reached to comfort her, but Hinata moved away. She couldn't stand the thought of being touched by anyone. She couldn't stand the thought of being seen by anyone. "Let me help you, Hinata. Everything is going to be okay. It's me, Ino." Ino called out as she extended her hand. Hinata moved away from her once more. Ino had been completely rejected; she wasn't sure what she could do for the Hyuga. She had never seen her like this and could only imagine what else she could be feeling.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I can't…I just can't…" Hinata whispered between sobs. Ino looked around frantically. She was trying to rack her brain for another possible route of helping her.

"Do you want to go home? I can arrange for Ko to come and get you…" Ino then recommended. Hinata shook her head frantically. She couldn't bear her family seeing her like this. She wanted to be somewhere she felt secure and safe. She wanted to be somewhere she felt she wouldn't be judged.

Ino sighed. Now she was frustrated. How was she supposed to help? What exactly did she want? She wouldn't let her touch her and she didn't want to go home. She was going to need some help.

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><p>Shikamaru flipped through the papers on his desk. He definitely had his hands full with the mission he'd just completed. They'd gotten Hinata back but in the worst possible state. They wouldn't be able to pull information from her in the most ethical way about what she remembers. And there was no way he would be able to ask Ino to do something like that to her. Hell, he could imagine what Tsunade would try to initiate if Hinata was unable to recover.<p>

He could still see it all. Her body was bare. Her underwear was stuffed in her mouth and she covered in all sorts of bruises and blood. No doubt, he could imagine why blood was in the place it was. It left a bitter taste in his mouth just thinking about it. It was unfortunate and it was definitely the first time he'd ever encountered something like that and it was certainly the first time she had been engaged in an activity like that. But the only thing he couldn't tell was whether or not they received the information that they wanted from her.

Why would they just leave her like that in the cavern? Did they manage to get what they wanted out of her? That couldn't be possible could it? Otherwise wouldn't they have just killed her? Shikamaru sighed heavily. A lot of things were going on around the village and he just about had his hands tied. Hinata was just the icing on the cake. He wondered how she was doing and if she was doing well at the hospital. Her body was so battered and she was so unresponsive. No doubt, whatever had happened to her had caused some kind of shock.

He stood from his desk and put away his papers in his drawer. Tomorrow he would have to give the report to Tsunade. Much to his dismay, he would have to give full details about what he witnessed and what he recovered. It wasn't much from the scene, but there were a few things that they'd left behind. Those things weren't enough to go and nab the man that did it, but it was enough information to keep pressing forward. Eventually they would find out the things that they needed.

It was already dark out and he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. Shikamaru slouched a bit as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh boy," He muttered as he rotated his neck a bit. Just as he'd thought earlier, women were nothing but trouble. He yawned as he stepped out of his office and locked the door behind him. As he shuffled down the road, he couldn't help but glance up at the sky. The sky had been one of his most favorite things to look up at. It was so vast and filled with stars that settled in their place without a single worry other than being bright.

Shikamaru's life seemed to always been filled with worries. Not worries from him of course, but worries from other people. But he knew he was gifted at strategizing and commanding others. Under his wing, he knew that he was more than capable of dispersing those worries. It was something that he knew he could live by if it meant the protection of the village and the continuation of the Nara clan. He smiled tiredly, as he shuffled his way to his house.

As walked down the hill towards his home, he could see two bodies present on his doorstep. He stopped and scoped out his poison. Who could it be at this hour of the night? Man, he really didn't want to have to deal with anything else at the moment. He was exhausted and more than ready to have a nice little meeting with his bed. Tonight he was going to sleep well, be energized in the morning, and tackle the investigation. That's all he wanted to do.

But of course, he knew that a person of his stature had a lot of responsibilities and a day's work was never done.

He moved closer to his home and could then clearly see who were waiting for him at his doorstep. The first person was Ino and the second was…Hinata? One of his brows raised and he moved a bit more quickly towards his front door. Hinata had fallen asleep against Ino's shoulder and Ino sat picking the petals from flowers. When Shikamaru's shadow was cast over her, she lifted her head up a small smile spread across her face.

He knew that smile and this couldn't be good.

"What's going on?" He asked apprehensively.

"First," She lifted a single digit before looking down at Hinata. "Take her inside. I don't want her to catch a cold." Shikamaru sighed and didn't make a fuss about it. He scooped Hinata up in his arms and carried her inside. He laid her on his bed and then returned outside where Ino waited.

"Okay, now tell me what's going on?" He crossed his arms, awaiting Ino's response. Now this girl, she was always a load of trouble. He could practically imagine exactly what she might say to him. Most things that she ever said to him were extremely impractical and illogical. She was a very talented shinobi; however, sometimes that intelligence was questioned over the years.

"Alright, Hinata's staying with you." Ino put simply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." He stuck his pinky finger in his ear as if cleaning it out. "What exactly did you say?"

"I said," She spoke a bit more slowly. "Hinata is staying with you."

"And what do you mean she's staying with me? Why can't she go stay with her family?" To be honest, this was the last thing that he would have expected Ino to say. It was among the possibilities, but very slim. But again, he always had to remember that even the smallest possibility is still a possibility. It was how he even found Hinata in the first place.

"It's complicated. But I'll try to break it down for you. You have to promise that you won't tell anyone about this. I'm only telling you because she's going to be staying with you for however long." Ino's eyes were filled with a bit of sadness. Shikamaru could now see the severity of the situation. Obviously, it was a big deal for her to only be able to stand the presence of him. But what he wasn't quite certain was the reason why.

"You have my word. I know…how things are for her right now. I saw…what had happened to her. So believe me when I say I don't think I will be repeating anything so terrible about her to anyone." Shikamaru reassured as he leaned against his door frame.

"Hinata is experiencing some serious distress. I suspect she will even experience some Post Traumatic Stress later on. She's not handling her situation very well. At the hospital…Hinata wasn't Hinata. I did her physical exam, so I can tell you right now that those things they did to her she remembers them. She remembers all of it and because of that, she can't even stand having people touch her. She didn't want me to touch her, Shikamaru." Ino began to rub her arms. Thinking about Hinata in regards to her actions at the hospital made her uneasy. "She doesn't want to stay home. I don't think she can face her family yet and I don't know how long that will be. She trusts you, because you were there to save her and you helped her in her most vulnerable state."

Shikamaru took in all the information that she'd given him. Everything that she'd been saying made sense. And he supposed he could bear her being around for a few days until she was able to go back home. He knew he had to be sensitive to the situation and she was his friend, however it wasn't often that he had to deal with a woman every day in his own space. And besides, this was a difficult situation to be in so she wouldn't be her usual Hinata self now would she?

"I'll be by to give her physical examinations as well." Ino then added.

"Here? At my house?" Shikamaru sounded against it at first, but Ino shot him a look. He darted his eyes elsewhere. He just knew there had to be more to he'd been told. "I guess that's fine as well. I mean between work and home, I won't be there much anyway. I guess I'll be able to stay out of her way so that she's able to recover."

"That was just what I needed to hear. I knew I could count on you." Ino smiled as she began to make her way up the road. "I left her some clothes there and I've already notified Ko, her bodyguard. I know you'll take great care of her. You did bring her back to us." Shikamaru waved after her and turned to his front door. He'd never had a girl over at his place, because he thought women to be extremely difficult. But with Hinata, he assumed that it couldn't turn out to be so bad.

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><p>The following morning made him feel terrible. Waking up was probably the worst possible thing that he could ever do. He was so exhausted. He was even more exhausted than he was the previous day. Although Shikamaru knew the basics of Hinata's illness, he didn't know what he was truly in for until he tried to sleep through the night. He looked over at her still body after getting dressed for work.<p>

At least she was finally able to sleep. They'd both had a rough night, actually. It was the first time he'd ever had to deal with night terrors before and Hinata was not as easy to subdue as he thought she would be. She really was a handful.

He went over to his kitchen and checked around for ingredient. It wasn't often that he was at home to make a decent meal, so he would be surprised if there was anything in there to make. He pulled out a pan and dug around in the refrigerator. He smiled slightly at the sight of the last two eggs and some bread. It wasn't much but it was the very least that he could do. He began frying the eggs in the pan and peered through the open space in his wall that allowed him to see in the living area.

Not even the smell of food got a stir out of her? He continued to scramble the eggs and toast the bread until he felt it was done. Once he was finished, he turned off the stove and began to plate the food. The plate didn't look too bad, right? Hopefully she would be up to eating something. The Nara grabbed a utensil and then began to carry the plate into his room where he'd allowed Hinata to sleep.

As he neared her, he watched her carefully. It seemed as though the night terrors had finally subsided and she was able to sleep. He felt kind of bad for having to wake her up like that, but he also knew he needed to make sure that she ate or else he wouldn't hear the end of it from Ino and Tenten. He crouched beside the bed and placed the plate on the bedside before reaching for her shoulder. Shikamaru gently shook her in an effort to not startle her.

Slowly, Hinata opened her eyes. Faintly, she could see a faceless image before her and it startled her. She quickly sat up and scooted away from Shikamaru, her eyes trying to gain focus. And as if she were holding her breath, she exhaled and clutched her chest. Her eyes scanned the room, unfamiliar with her surroundings. Where was she again?

"It's alright, Hinata." Shikamaru assured, keeping his distance. He remembered what Ino said about Hinata liking her personal space. The last thing he needed this morning was for her to be triggered by any actions he did to upset her. "I brought you some breakfast." He then said as he picked up the plate and set it beside her. Hinata remained silent, but her eyes travelled in the direction of the plate before she turned her attention back to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru watched her in silence before he began to feel a bit awkward. She wasn't saying anything and it didn't appear as though she was that comfortable around him. He didn't know whether to make heads or tails of the situation. Awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck before standing up to stretch. "Well, I'm going off to work. You can use whatever you like around here. There are books and I'll probably be able to stop by around lunch time since there's not much food here. Sorry, I'm not home much. Being a bachelor and all…" He gave an awkward laugh which elicited no response from Hinata. "Well, I'd better go. I'll see you later." Shikamaru said finally as he made his way out of the room and out the door.

Hinata watched as he left the house. Somewhere in her, she felt awful not talking to him. But for some odd reason, she felt like she didn't have a voice. The Hyuga just couldn't get over what had happened. She thought that maybe it seemed illogical to continue to think about what had happened to her. She should get over it right? She needed to show that she was strong and capable of jumping any hurdle. She was the strength of the Hyuga Clan now.

But where was that strength?

Hinata slid out of bed and took the plate that Shikamaru had made for her with her. She found a nestling spot near the window and set the plate in front of her on the sill. Bringing her knees to her chest, she sighed. So many thoughts and feelings ran through her mind. Everything that she remembered remained fresh and vivid. There was not a part of her that felt as though this was some small hurdle that she could overcome.

It was but instead a large wall, impeding her ability to get past the situation. These thoughts that haunted her, continued to meddle with her memories of what she encountered. Her line of reasoning was not as acute as it used to be and the things she was most passionate about seemed lackluster. She looked down at her hands as she did while she'd been at the hospital. Hinata then clenched and unclenched her fists. She was no longer bound physically but _mentally. _

Was it because he had violated her?

_Lady Hinata…_

_Lady Hinata…_

_Lady Hinata…_

_Lady Hinata…_

_**Did I break you?**_

Her whole body shook as she fought back the tears. She could hear him in her mind and see him clearly. He was a dark foreboding figure which had been eager to consume her. He was ready to rot her mind and destroy her body. Her lilac eyes were wide with fear. He was coming back for her. He said he would and always did. She buried her face into her knees and tried to think of nothing. And when her mind quieted, she glanced over at the plate of eggs that Shikamaru had made for her.

Hinata reached over and took a small bite of the food. His eggs, the color reminded her of the sunflowers that she liked so much. Silently, she continued to cry.

They tasted like nothing, just like how she felt.

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><p><strong>AN: So, the next few chapters I feel are going to be seemingly rushed but that is because you all know me so well and I don't like things to drag on forever. I have been editing and redoing some things for quite a while now so that it at least appears realistic. Please let me know what you think. The only reason any of this will appear to be rushed is because I'm more of a concrete and direct person. Also I wanted to let you guys know that this will be about 11 chapters of story. Each chapter will begin with a letter from Hinata Hyuga's name. Neat right? (most likely already done) lol. I hope to capture the characters properly and display them how I see them in my mind. Much of what is happening is over a long period of time and so I've tried to make that clear from now on. The way I want this to end and the way that I want things to progress and reach its peak all seems to work in my head (which works for everyone when they think a certain way right?). Anyway, thank you so much for reading [Lumiwolf]<strong>


	4. Affliction

**AN: Two chapters? Why yes! :D**

_Italics signify thoughts and flashbacks_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four: Affliction<strong>

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><p>Shikamaru worked tirelessly during the day. He directed several people beneath him to handle tasks surrounding the area. He wanted to comb through everything and make sure that nothing else was missed. Completely overlooking that area the first time was their downfall. They could've gotten to Hinata a lot sooner had they been a bit more careful and scrutinized every detail; they could have saved her from what she was currently.<p>

Shikamaru rested his head on his desk. He tried to remain level headed throughout the day and not let anything get to him. But he had to admit, all these things were a bit overwhelming. He sighed as he lifted his head and reached for his cup. He made a face of disgust as he set down his now cold drink. A soft knock could be heard at his door and he leaned back into his chair. "Come in." He mumbled as he tossed the papers in his hand on his desk.

Ino poked her head through the door. Of course it was her. He didn't know if he was up for interrogation, because that was exactly what she came to do. Not to see how he was doing, but to see how he did with Hinata. Shikamaru knew his childhood friend all too well and now he had to mentally prepare himself for the slew of questions she was going to throw at him. "Hey, just came to see how you were doing today?" She said with a smile plastered on her face. She poked around his office before moving to brew some tea.

"You and I both know you didn't just come here to see how I was doing." Shikamaru muttered as he continued to do his work.

"Yeah you're right. There's no point in hiding it from you. As a matter of fact, you should know exactly what I came here to talk to you about." Ino mumbled as she set down her things on his desk. Shikamaru politely moved them out of his way before leaning back in his chair.

"How about you make it easier for me and just tell me what it is you want." He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the irritation already seeping in. This lack of sleep was really getting to him and he had enough stuff going on without her interrupting him.

"How's Hinata?" Ino asked as she began to pour them both small cups of tea.

"She's…not Hinata," Was all that Shikamaru could think to say. That was the only explanation that he could possibly give. Throughout the night Hinata had been a handful. And so when the morning came he was very surprised at her tranquil slumber. She hadn't stirred the entire time he got ready for work, but all night she just kept waking up. That's what bothered him the most. Was what happened to her that was so terrifying? What happened that was so terrifying that it haunted her dreams and interfered with her everyday life. Today, when he looked into her eyes he didn't know who she was. And he couldn't see any part of her left.

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><p><em>Shikamaru had chosen to sleep in the living area where his kotatsu was. He made himself comfortable on the floor and pulled his blanket over his body. As he began to drift off to sleep he could hear rustling in his room where he'd left Hinata. At first, he assumed that she was probably just rolling over in her sleep. He kept his eyes close, trying to force himself to fall into a slumber. But then, he could hear muffled groans and eventually a loud thud. <em>

_He sat up quickly, his heart racing. Shikamaru hurried into the room where she was and could see her struggling with the blanket on the floor. She started kicking and screaming as loud as she could. It was as though she were fighting with someone. She was fighting with someone that wasn't even there. He hurried to her side and picked her up off the floor. Laying her back on the back, he tried to shake her awake. "Hey, Hinata?" He urged as he continued to try and rouse her. _

_Hinata cried out in her sleep, "No! No! Please no!" Her sobs became uncontrollable and her whole body shook. He had never seen the Hyuga like this before, but he was more than certain that he needed to wake her up. _

"_Hinata, wake up!" He nearly shouted as he continued to shake her. _

_Hinata's eyes shot open and she gasped. Looking around quickly, she tried to push herself away from Shikamaru. There was little strength left from her, so her fighting against him was futile. He grabbed her wrists and forced her to look at him. Confused, lilac hues focused on him for a few moments before she began to curl up against him. Quietly, she sobbed against his chest. "What happening to me?" She finally said as she sniffed. _

_Shikamaru was at a loss for word. He didn't know what he could say in order to comfort her. He didn't know what he could do to make her feel any better. Whatever demons she seemed to be battling, was something that couldn't be cured overnight. And as far as he was concerned, he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle the situation. Should he talk to Ino about it? Should he report this to the Hokage? There were a million things that were running through his mind and none of which seemed to be the right path to take with her. _

_Hinata appeared afraid. Nightmares are what frighten children and Hinata's nightmare wasn't just a dream. It was a perception that she had created into a reality. And most often, people aren't able to sway a person's perception with a wave of a hand. Shikamaru was no expert on this kind of thing either. So why him? Why was he the one that had to see her like this? _

"_H…How…l….lo-," She whispered quietly into his chest. Shikamaru pulled her an arm's length away from him so that he could hear. _

"_What? What did you just say?" He asked with his brow raised._

"_How long? Tell me how long was I out there?" Hinata asked her voice much stronger._

_Shikamaru was hesitant at first but finally replied, "For about week. It was about week before we…" He trailed off for a few moments and began to recall the moments where he removed the chains from her wrists and covered her body with the blanket. He recalled pulling that piece of fabric from her mouth and feeling disgust in the pit of her stomach. "It was a week before we found you."_

_Hinata fell silent for a few moments but then said, "A week, huh?" And with that, Hinata pulled away from Shikamaru and lie down on the bed. There was nothing more that she seemed to want to say or Shikamaru wanted to add. With that, he returned to his futon in the living room._

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><p>"Well, have you gone to check up on her? It's about lunch time, I'm sure she's there starving." Ino mumbled as she blew at the steam coming from her cup.<p>

"I already got it covered." Shikamaru pulled out some cup ramen. Ino raised her brow at him in dissatisfaction.

"Are you being serious right now?" Ino went to pick up the cup ramen, but Shikamaru took it from her hands.

"Yes, just for right now. I know you women desire special treatment, but I'm busy." Shikamaru stood from his desk and stuffed the cup in his pocket. As he headed out of his office, he nudged Ino out of the door. "Now don't you have something else to do? Like your job?"

"Speaking of which, Tsunade wants me to do an interrogation on Hinata as well as keep up with her physical examinations." Ino added, which caused Shikamaru to stop in his tracks. He knew it was a bad idea and he had already explained that to Tsunade when he returned. But what he also knew was that the information that Hinata carried was very important. They had to be sure that none of what she was holding on to had been breached.

However, he also knew that Ino wouldn't want to dive into her mind as it was. There were a lot of things going on with Hinata. There were many things that he couldn't explain himself. And there were definitely uncertainties as to whether or not they could carry out the interrogation. Or whether Hinata could withstand them prying through her mind.

"Listen, Ino. I have a favor to ask you." He turned towards her and placed a hand on the nape of his neck. "Could you try to hold off on the interrogations? I know exactly what she wants you to do to her because of the state that she is in. But I need you to hold off on that. This is my only request if she's going to be staying at my place."

Ino looked him over once and then said, "I'll do what I can. You know how Tsunade can be but I'm sure she'll understand the circumstances."

"Thanks. I'll see you later." Shikamaru then said and he turned heel and headed back towards his place.

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><p>Every night had been like that. Her night terrors always appeared to get worse before they got better It had been every night for the past week. So, how was Hinata? She wasn't even Hinata. Hell, he didn't know who she was or how to really even take care of her. There were two emotions that Hinata seemed to be able to display around him: sadness and fear. It had been an unfortunate situation that couldn't easily be explained.<p>

Over the next few weeks, Shikamaru thought he had to make just a little more effort to tend to Hinata. He fell into a pattern of making her breakfast and then coming by for lunch. Of course, he did try to elicit some response; however, she didn't do much. She showed little interest in what he had to say and only made slight changes

Although they were slight, they'd been enough for him to notice that she'd begun putting in some effort. It began with little things like cleaning the area around her and actually saying goodbye in the morning. Again, they were small things but it still wasn't enough. All this time and she had still been mulling all by herself and never made any effort to talk about anything.

Once again, Hinata had still been sitting on the windowsill when Shikamaru arrived. She didn't stir when he opened the door and she didn't look his way when he began rummaging through the kitchen. "I came back to make you some lunch." He held up the cup of ramen and shook it but Hinata still did not acknowledge him. She continued to look out of the window, her eyes as empty as they were when she saw her this morning. His eyes traveled down to the plate beside her. It was still filled with the breakfast that he had made for her as well. Had she not eaten all day? Shikamaru set the cup down and sighed while the water boiled on the stove. There was no way that he could have expected less.

But he had to admit that he expected a little more. He moved to sit on the edge of his bed as she continued to lean against the window pane. He grabbed the plate and set it on the edge of his bed. "You haven't eaten all day. Is my cooking not good enough? "He said with a small smile. Again, he received no response from her.

This was getting nowhere.

He got up again and went into the kitchen. Placing the plate in the sink, he removed the kettle from the stove and poured the hot water in the cup. Closing the lid on the ramen, he placed the chopsticks he had on top of the lid. He then left the ramen sitting on the counter while the water worked its magic. Again, he sat at the edge of the bed in front of the nearly lifeless Hinata. He wondered what she was thinking. What was she feeling at that moment?

"Hinata, you should really eat something. You could even take a nice hot bath if you'd like." Shikamaru sighed. He was running out of options. She was so dismal and nonexistent. It was painful.

Hinata turned her head towards him; her eyes appeared cold almost dead. "Is there something I can change into?" She asked in a monotone voice.

Shikamaru sat up straight and hurried to grab her bag that Ino had left with her. "Of course, Ino was so kind as to pack your bag. There are plenty of clothes that you can wear. Here," He extended the bag to her. She reached out lazily and grabbed the bag. Removing herself from the window sill, she headed towards the bathroom and shut the door behind her. When he heard the clicking of the lock, he exhaled.

He couldn't tell whether she was coming or going.

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><p>Hinata shut the door behind her and when she had she slid down onto the floor. These four walls were her confines. They were somewhere safe, right? He wasn't coming back for her right? How long had she been sitting there on that window sill? She'd lost track of time and had also lost track of who she was anymore.<p>

Who was she?

She wiped the tears that fought to fall and stood up. She was a strong kunoichi. She had to be, right? That was her duty. She had to inspire strength and abide by her own ninja way. She walked over to the sink avoided the mirror. She placed the bag on the sink and pulled out the clothes that she wanted to wear. Hinata then began to undress herself. She was hesitant at first, but she finally managed to get them all off. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the tears she had cried. She wondered if she had anymore that she could even squeeze out. Hinata was so tired, mentally and physically.

All she could think about was how Shikamaru had told her that she'd been trapped there for a week. A week is how long she had to endure the pain being etched across her body and poisoning her mind. But she supposed that was all it took. And here she thought that she was so headstrong about it in the beginning and felt like she could conquer the world. She had the courage to fulfill the mission no matter what and she would find a way out of the situation herself.

Hinata thought she would report back to Tsunade with news about the enemy fighting against. She had it all planned out in her head. While she hung there shackled against her will, she thought of the way she would escape. She thought of a way to return home. It was all coming back to her, clear as day. And while she had those thoughts, they were being torn down. Day after day, he found a new way to torture her. And he used a different device each time.

Lost in thought, Hinata moved robotically as she allowed the tub to fill with water. And when the tub was full, she turned the water off. Slipping inside the warm pool, she grabbed the sponge and lathered the soap. She rubbed the sponge against her arms and legs, but for some reason when she got to her legs she began to scrub harder. She had scrubbed so much that it had begun to burn.

It was as if her body just couldn't become clean. She couldn't scrub away the filth. The filth felt as though it had been all over her body. No matter where she scrubbed, she couldn't remove the toxins that seemed to cloud her mind and body. She leaned back into the tub and allowed for the water to engulf her. She kept reminding herself how tired she was over and over again. She just wanted to sleep it all away and forget everything that had happened to her.

She wanted to pretend as if she had found happiness. She had a fulfilled life and she was looked up to as a great kunoichi. Her ability was revered as something great in her clan and she was respected by many in her family. Her life was more than beautiful in her mind and better than she could have ever hoped for. She felt light and the world around her flickered quick images right before her eyes. She could see herself passing down being the head to her eldest child and even passing away with a smile on her face.

Yes, this was the life she was to live and nothing else mattered.

And as she drifted off into a slumber, she remembered the hands that reached up to unbind her. Hinata remembered the musky sweet smell of the nape of his neck and the concern in his eyes. She remembered Shikamaru when he'd come to get her in that cave. He was the first thing she'd laid eyes on in what turned out to be in a week. Sitting up straight, she wiped the water from her face and coughed a bit.

She was tired of the long nights and hard days of even facing herself. She was tired of the thoughts crippling her and the images taking over her very existence. She was tired of being seemingly hopeless as Shikamaru poured all his efforts into her. This was not her and that much she understood, but it was hard.

As she blew her nose, there was a soft rapping against the door. No doubt, it had to be Shikamaru. She leaned over the edge of the tub, her arms draping over. "Yes?"

"Just checking to see if you're okay," His voice called behind the door.

"I'm fine." She replied meekly. "I'm just finishing up." Hinata looked down at the tiling on the floor. In it, she could barely see her reflection. She hated looking at her reflection more than anything because there was something about her that seemed off. Parts of her were missing and she was uncertain as to how to get them back. Standing up, she got out of the tub and began to dry herself.

Just because she didn't like who she was then, didn't mean that it was who she was going to be for the rest of her life. She struggled to look at herself in the mirror and somehow, Shikamaru appeared in place of her own place. She reached out to touch it, before the image rippled and returned to its original form.

Why was he appearing in his mind?

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><p>Shikamaru began to set up his shogi board in the living area. He placed the pieces on the board neatly before settling onto a pillow on the floor. When he'd heard the bathroom door open, he began to pour small cups of tea. "I'm in here." He shouted a bit as he organized for her a spot to sit. He heard soft shuffling and then Hinata made her appearance across from him on the other side of the board. She stared it at it for a few moments and then looked at him with a raised brow. "I thought that I would teach you to play a bit of shogi. I know it helps me to take my mind off of things."<p>

"O-Oh." Hinata managed out as she reached out for the cup of tea.

_Oh? _Shikamaru thought as if he were a bit offended. Hinata glanced over at him and then noticed that he'd been staring at her with his brows furrowed. It could only mean she had said something to make him look at her that way.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Hinata then said. "I mean, I'm okay with playing Shogi. You'll have to teach me." She sounded tired but that didn't mean she wasn't interested. Here was to trying to make an effort. If he wanted her to play shogi, then she would play. Or at least she would try and play. This way, the game gave her plenty of other things to think about other than her bothersome conscious.

Shikamaru nodded. "Sure, I'll teach you." And with that Shikamaru began to instruct her of how to play the game or at least how he played the game. Hinata seemed to have been paying attention, especially when she'd begun to make moves herself. The flow of the game wasn't as bad as he'd thought it might have been. As a matter of fact, Hinata appeared to become more and more engaged. It was the first activity that she had participated in since she'd returned.

He noticed as she moved the tiles on the board that her arms were red and irritated. No doubt that during her bath she had done that to herself. His eyes traced over the skin on her arms and then up to her pale face. She always did have such fair skin. His eyes became mesmerized by her features and how careful she was as she moved her pieces on the board.

"Your turn. It's your turn." Hinata urged, snapping Shikamaru out of his trance. He nodded and began to make his next move. Hinata wondered how he could easily make a decision so quickly during such a logical game. But she quickly reminded herself who she was dealing with. Shikamaru had always been known to be a genius in his own right. He was probably one of the smartest ninja in all of Konohagakure.

She knew that he was more than capable of making decisions five steps ahead of her.

And that was what had begun to fascinate her so. She couldn't think of a single person that had been able to match his wits. As she moved the pawn on the board, she tried to think of her own moves that she could make next. But although she attempted to come up with her own strategy, she couldn't help but watch Shikamaru's facial expressions. She wished she could tell what he was thinking. Hinata wished she could read his mind.

She almost wished he could read hers.

Hinata chewed on her bottom lip as she continued to daydream. Was she analyzing him as an opponent or was she analyzing him as a man? Briskly, she reached for her cup of tea and began to drink so quickly that it caused her to choke. Shikamaru, who'd already made his next move, leaned over the table to see if she was okay. When he had, she brandished his advance with her hand and cowered away from his grasp. Turning her head, she could feel her face heat up.

_Oh god. _

Shikamaru continued to watch her. His eyes caught a glimpse of her facial expression and he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.

Perhaps this was just a sign of Hinata returning to her former self.

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><p><strong>AN: This was weird to write. I don't know, I keep editing and redoing it and of course it just felt weird. But I don't think I can make it any better. I think I'm just being overly hypocritical. But anyway, I think I'm just in a rush to get to the main course and that makes me terrible at development. Just keep reminding yourselves (and I will remind myself) that this is over a large period of time and not by the day. *sigh* Still though, Merry Christmas guys! I appreciate every review and criticism is always welcomed because I strive to do better. Thank you so much for reading [Lumiwolf]<strong>


	5. Tangible

**Author's Note: **Here is chapter five. I want to take the time out and thank everyone who has taken the time out to review my story. Your words of encouragement and/or criticisms keep me going. I hope that you continue to enjoy this and also continue to give me feedback. You don't know how much it means to me. Even the lurkers, thank you for reading lol.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto and unfortunately never will.

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: Tangible<strong>

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><p><em>Happiness (n) [hap-ee-nis]: good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy<em>

The days seemed to go by rather quickly. What began as something irritating became something that he looked forward to. The Nara had wondered what had happened. Was he actually happy being in the situation that he was in? Being the only one that Hinata seemed to interact with?

That's a pretty selfish thought.

Shikamaru relayed the word happiness throughout his mind. Hinata had been a little less dismal during their time together. However, she had continued to deny visitation from her friends and family. She refused to report in to Tsunade and the Hokage's patience was wearing thin. The only thing that she wouldn't ignore was playing shogi with him every night. Every night that he returned to his home, Hinata had reset the pieces so that they could play again. She never won and although she was still a bit depressed, he could see part of her lighting up. And so Shikamaru continued to push Ino to deter the Hokage and he continued to deflect whatever messages she sent to him by displaying her other things of concern.

It was all because he had made up in his mind that he was going to find a way to put her back to the way she was. And he didn't think being probed by her peers or even the head of the village would help her. He could no longer stand the thought of Hinata sitting on that window sill every day and be merely the shadow of her former self. If what he was doing with her was truly helping her, he wasn't going to allow anything to mess that up.

So now, it was up Shikamaru. Ino had handed this task to him and Hinata would only stand in his presence. Everyday had been the same for him and her. Their interaction was still minimal and he began to question what it meant for him to be around. He had so many unanswered questions and seeing how it had been three months since they'd begun sharing living space, he thought it was time they moved past all that.

So finally, one day after lunch he decided to take the rest of the day off. When he headed inside of his house, he noticed that Hinata had been in her usual spot. Without much thought, he gathered her bag and tossed it at her side. Slowly, she looked off to the side where her bag had landed and then looked over at him. He was home early for the first time and it surprised her. She glanced over at the shogi board, as if prepared to go and set up the pieces.

"We're not playing that right now," Shikamaru began as if reading her mind. "So get dressed. We're heading out today."

She nodded and then began to pull out her things. Shikamaru then headed into the living room in order to wait for her to get dressed. There was hardly any interaction between the two of them over the past month. He was surprised he endured it for so long without trying anything. He knew that he probably just felt worried and afraid to cause more harm to her. But all along, Hinata had just been doing harm to herself. If he waited any longer, he was more than certain that she was no longer going to be the person that everyone knew.

When Hinata exited the room, she stood in his doorway with her head down. "Let's go." Shikamaru said a small smile on his face. Hinata merely followed his order as they headed out of the house. It was around the time when the sun would leave the sky earlier, so he thought it would be best to make it to their destination right before the sun set on the horizon. As they walked down the dirt path, Hinata followed in silence. It had been a long time since she had left the Nara's residence. The sun had been so bright, even though it was past midday. Her eyes squinted at its luminance as they continued to walk in silence.

The dirt began to pick up and create dusty footprints as they walked down the hill. And she noticed that there were hardly any people in the street. It was most likely due to the fact that Shikamaru had taken them down a scenic route. Where was she going? For some reason she felt that her surroundings had been unfamiliar to her. Had she locked herself away for that long?

Everything around her felt so warm and welcoming. The sun felt wonderful against her skin and the air felt light between her fingers. At this point, it wasn't that Shikamaru had forced her to come along for the walk but that she wanted to. It was probably why she'd become so attracted to the window. Day by day she gazed out of the window, feeling as though her thoughts of freedom were just that: thoughts. She had buried herself in her memories and forgot about the things going on around her.

Her only problem was that she didn't know how to get herself out. But she watched Shikamaru's efforts daily and part of her regretted the way she had been handling everything. She was drowning Shikamaru in her own sorrows, even if he never said anything.

Even if he never complained.

So today, she decided to comply. But she didn't decide for her own sake, but for his as well. She craved to step out of her comfort zone, but she also knew that in order to do that she had to do something herself. There was nothing that Shikamaru could make her do, because although he had tried over the past month he had not been successful.

That's why Shikamaru had been surprised. He hadn't said anything during the walk because he didn't know what to say. How could just asking her to get dressed become so easy in the blink of an eye? Maybe waiting on her had been working even if just a little bit.

The scenery slowly began to change and the sun was nearly at the horizon. As Hinata looked around, she noticed that they were standing in a large field of sunflowers. Her eyes scanned the area in shock before resting on Shikamaru. His back was no longer to her and he'd stopped to face her. He stood hunched over, his hand at the nape of his neck as usual when he seemed uncomfortable. She opened her mouth, but then pressed her lips together. How did he know?

"Tenten told me." He replied as if reading her mind. "Tenten told me how much you loved to press flowers. You favorite flower is the sunflower. So I thought, 'This would be the perfect place to bring her.'" Hinata moved into the field and stopped at one flower in order to pick at its petals. She then kneeled down to smell them before lying back in the grass.

It was cool and breezy. The floral scent in the air made her feel liberated. In the dark crevice of her mind, she could see a small light. It was screaming out to her and trying to reach her. She wanted to grab it. She wanted it to take over the darkness that filled her. She could hear the grass rustle beside her and a warm body next to her. Shikamaru had sat down next to her, leaned back against his hands. He looked out into the field while she lay in it facing the sky.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. It was the first time in a long time that she felt so happy. This reminder of the things that she was missing out on meant the world to her. These were the kinds of things that kept her going while she was trapped in that cave. He had brought them to her again. The person, who had saved her life twice, had reminded her to live.

Shikamaru didn't look at her. He kept his back to her before he began speaking. "Will you tell me what happened to you? We've been at my house together for a while. And I have watched bits of you just fade away. Each time I come home, we play a game of shogi and it's the only time that I can seem to get any kind of feeling out of you. I kept asking myself, what could I do to help? How could I save you from yourself? And so I found something that I knew you would like." He took a deep breath before exhaling. "You're so troublesome. At first, I thought this would be easy, but you made it pretty difficult. I didn't know what to do with you and I still don't know what to do with you. But at some point, you have to talk about it. You have to speak up Hinata. You can't go on living like this."

Hinata wiped the tears from her face as she continued to look up at the sky. She was being stubborn and she knew it. She had been trying to fight the demons herself only to fail. And here had Shikamaru been all along. He was there, all along. He had been trying to save her when she felt like she didn't want to be saved.

All when she _needed _to be saved.

"Okay, I'll tell you what happened," Hinata began while taking a deep breath. She was going to do it. She knew in her heart that he more than deserved it. He had put up with her so long and gave so much effort to making her feel comfortable. "I took on a mission given to me by the Hokage. I went with two others because it was supposed to be a reconnaissance mission. But somehow I got caught. I got the information that I needed and I tried to come back, but…." Her lip trembled. "But he caught me. He caught me in some genjutsu and dragged me back to that cave. I couldn't see because I was…I was blindfolded." As she told her story, she could remember the roughness of the fabric and the darkness that impeded her vision. "He made it so that I couldn't use any of my chakra to escape and everyday…." Hinata sniffed. "Every single day, he came and tortured me for information." She sat up from the grass and moved in front of him.

Shikamaru watched her carefully and pushed himself forward so that his hands rested in his lap. He wasn't sure where she was going with this, but he didn't like the look on her face. It made him nervous and uncomfortable for her to look like that. Hesitantly, he nodded for her to continue.

Hinata reached for the hem of her shirt but then stopped. Her hands trembled as she clung to the fabric. Shikamaru reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "You don't have to do this."

She shook her head in disagreement, "But I do." Hinata took a deep breath and lifted her shirt high enough that he could see her torso. She pointed to the scar at her side. It was one of the few things that couldn't be repaired by Ino during the first examination when she'd returned to the village. "This is where he stabbed me. He stabbed me and…." She clenched her jaw before forcing herself to continue, "He jabbed his finger in and dug around in my flesh." She managed out.

Shikamaru removed his hand from on top of hers. He clenched one of his fists until it turned completely white. He knew it was only the beginning of everything that she wanted to say to him. The Nara swallowed and glanced up at Hinata, whose eyes had never left him.

"On my thigh, he burned me. No, he seared my flesh because I wasn't paying him attention. And then finally…" Hinata exhaled again, feeling everything in her stomach twist when she thought about it. "He raped me. He held my legs apart and forced himself inside of me. My mouth was stuffed with my own underwear and I screamed and cried but he wouldn't stop. I did everything I could. I begged him…please…please no…." Hinata shook her head as she broke down into an uncontrollable sob. Her whole being shook as she cradled herself.

To say those things aloud meant that they were real. The one thing she had been trying to do was erase what had been done. But it was destroying her at the core.

Seeing Hinata cry at this point was nothing new. But seeing Hinata cry as she recalled her time as a prisoner, made him feel awful. Before he knew the truth, he was puzzled as to why she was feeling the way she was. No, that wasn't true. He tried to pretend like he didn't see what he saw. He was smart guy and everyone knew that. His deductive reasoning was beyond most people's capabilities in the village. Shikamaru had already known what had happened to her when he saw her that day.

Did her confirmation make it any better?

Absolutely not. As a matter fact, it made him feel bitter and angry. But more than ever at this very moment, it made him pity her. He couldn't think of a single kunoichi that had endured what Hinata had and even managed to stay alive. She was braver and more beautiful than anyone he had ever encountered. He reached for her and pulled her close to him. Hinata's quiet sobs slowly began to dissipate as she melted into his arms.

"Listen, Hinata I don't want you to be afraid anymore. I will be here to protect you, always." Shikamaru whispered gently to her as he wiped the tears from her eyes. Brown hues focused on lilac ones and he could clearly see the light in her eyes. It was the light that he had longed to see for quite some time now. The light that he had seen during their games had been dim compared to how she looked at that very moment. He then leaned in and presented her with a gentle kiss on the lips. Hinata froze at first, but gradually relaxed into it.

The only reason she allowed it was because she believed him. He had been there for her all this time. She wanted him to understand that she wasn't afraid and she hadn't been for a long time. She'd enjoyed playing shogi with him every night and wishing him well every morning. Shikamaru had shown her that he was going to make every effort to make her happy again and make her feel safe. She was just glad that she'd decided the first day they'd played together that she was going to make the effort to change. And as the sun set behind them, they both fell onto a patch of sunflowers without breaking their kiss.

Their mouths moved in unison as they held onto each other passionately. Usually a million things would be running through her mind but all she could focus on was the brightness of the sunflowers and the warmth that Shikamaru gave her. That light had slowly been taking over her mind as he continued to hold onto her and kiss her. His hands remained nestled on cheeks as he cupped them gently.

Shikamaru didn't know what had come over him. One moment he was thinking how much he wanted to help her and be there for her and then the next he wanted to do more. He wanted to not only be there as her friend, but as her lover and protector if she'd allow it. He didn't think about overstepping his boundaries and never did it cross his mind that he might have been moving too fast for her.

He might have even been being selfish about the situation, but he knew his feelings were genuine and sincere. He was falling in love with the Hyuga. The Nara was falling in love with the concept of being with her and always making her happy. He wanted to always be the reason she was smiling and he wanted to also be a part of the reason that she lived. As he pulled back from her, they both opened their eyes. She was slightly out of breath and her cheeks were flushed. When the intensity of his stare became too much, she looked away bashfully and Shikamaru tilted her head up to meet his gaze again. His tickled her cheek as he traced her features.

Hinata watched him carefully. Her eyes scanned his face before resting on his eyes. Her lips parted slightly before breaking into a smile.

Yes, that was the smile that he'd been working for. This was the Hinata that he knew.

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><p>When they returned to his place, he and Hinata set up the board to play shogi. And while they'd been playing Hinata had actually been smiling. She seemed to be enjoying herself. However, she was making way too many mistakes playing the game. "Listen, I get that you're happy but you're making simple mistakes here." Shikamaru grinned as he organized the pieces on the board again.<p>

"O-Oh! I'm sorry!" Her cheeks flushed as she lowered her gaze. She was so cute when she looked like that. Her face had some color to it and her eyes were bright. He couldn't say that she was completely over her problems and he absolutely couldn't say he'd cured her of her troubles. But he felt confident enough to say that he could keep her happy. He could keep her mind off what had happened to her and make it so that she could forever smile and enjoy playing with him every night after work.

"Just remember that when you're playing, you can always give up the pawns for the betterment of the rest of the pieces. Once you rank the higher pieces up it doesn't' guarantee your win, but it does amp up your chances because of the moves you're allowed to make." Shikamaru then said as he made the first move.

"I'll try to remember that." She replied with a warm smile as they continued to play. The two of them continued to play well into the night. Neither of them said much more to each other. They just simply enjoyed each other's presence.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Y'know this might have been a dull chapter, but it had to be done to get to my end result. Continue to ride this wave with me folks! Ride the wave with me because even I am working towards the end. Also, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'll see you guys sometime in 2015 and I hope that we continue to grow along with these characters and face whatever obstacles that come ahead ;) **[LumiWolf]**


	6. Assuage

**Author's Note: **Wassup guys! I'm so close to being behind, oh my goodness. But I promise to _try _not to let you guys down. And by try I mean, I can't please everyone lol. But I'm so very thankful for all of you that have sent in your reviews and have followed. It really just warms my heart. Honestly. So here is a nice chapter. A really nice chapter. Enjoy it while it lasts folks. (huehuehue)

**Disclaimer: **Nah dog, I don't own Naruto.

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><p><strong>Chapter Six: Assuage<strong>

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><p>Hinata watched the door anxiously. When did she become so dependent? When had she begun to look forward to each of Shikamaru's arrivals? Did it begin when they'd starting playing shogi together? Or had it occurred to her after their first kiss? She couldn't pin the exact moment during their time together, but one thing she knew for certain was that he made her feel alive. He made her feel strong again.<p>

Instead of planting herself in front of the window, she found herself cleaning up around the Nara residence. Even if he was a man who lived alone, she still couldn't understand exactly why he'd allowed his home to become so filthy. He'd even allowed such filth knowing that she was there all the time. Thinking it over, it made her smile.

It was just another thing that she'd learned about the Nara.

As she picked up a few of his clothing out of the living room, she made a pile so that she could do a bit of his laundry. She didn't mind doing these things, since she had been staying with him for quite some time. Hinata wondered how long that would last. How long would they remain together like this? It was almost as if they were a couple.

Were they a couple?

The Hyuga picked up one of his shirts and inhaled its scent. Holding it close to her heart, she knew that she couldn't dwell on it too much. He was just being a good friend to her. He was being comforting and understanding of her situation. That was it. The days that followed their time in the sunflower field were better. They'd taken a liking to playing their game until long into the night; however they didn't do any more than that. If they bumped into each other or made any physical contact, Shikamaru would not pay it any mind. Thus, the only conclusion she could draw was that they were in the heat of the moment and that things happened.

There were still friends.

Sighing, Hinata tossed his shirt into the pile before glancing at the shogi board. Their games now lasted longer and so they'd decided to make their moves on a daily basis rather than sit around during the night while they thought. She moved her piece on the board and turned her attention back to cleaning the house. As she went to pick up the clothes, Hinata noticed the full length mirror in the far corner. Hesitantly, she walked over and stared at her reflection.

It had been a long time since she'd seen herself.

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><p>Shikamaru found it hard to focus on his work. And here he thought he'd been doing so well the last few weeks. But he couldn't help but feel a bit light. He'd always been drowned in work and never really had time to participate in extracurricular activities, but lately going home had been enjoyable. Hinata's lustrous hues were always filled with delight when he arrived. They'd played until they couldn't think and chatted about how things were going for him at work.<p>

Things were fantastic. It was unreal.

A girl that he'd grown up with, but seemed to never really know was someone that he felt he knew all too well. He was comfortable around her yet careful. Ever since he'd taken her to the field of flowers, he'd been careful not to push anything else. "Dammit." He muttered under his breath. Just thinking about it made him feel unsure. Was he doing the right thing? What kind of vibe was he giving the girl?

Because he really liked her.

Shikamaru sighed before shuffling the papers in his hand. He began to sign off on a few things and organize all his files. He didn't know how to proceed with the relationship. He didn't know how to be around her. He should be himself right? The Nara was riddled with thoughts of Hinata. He could see her porcelain skin, bright sparkling with beauty. Her smile, like the sun cast over his shadow and could light up any room. Her laugh was light yet bashful while she spoke with him.

Hinata was more than beautiful to him.

Yet, he still didn't know how to be. He told her all those things about being there for her and wanting to protect her but didn't know how to be in a relationship with her. Should he even be in a relationship with her? Shikamaru planted his face in his palms and peeked between his fingers. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

These feelings were definitely troublesome.

The door to his office opened, which startled him. As he leaned back into his chair, he realized exactly who'd come to make company with him. The blond settled in a chair in front of him before tossing a scroll in front of him. "What's this?" He raised a brow as he reached for it. As he pried the scroll open, Ino watched him carefully.

"It's from Tsunade." She stated the obvious.

"And she wants her to be interrogated _and _receive her examination next week." Shikamaru sighed before tossing it off to the side. It wasn't particularly a big deal, but it was definitely something he knew he had to run by Hinata. "So what's the damage? How pissed off is she?"

"She's not too angry, surprisingly. That's what's so scary. I held her off as much as I could." Ino paused for a second. "But this is more than enough time for Hinata to come and see me. Believe me; it's going to be hard for me as well."

"You're right, I know." Shikamaru said, batting at her words. "I'll tell her about it tonight."

"Great. That way, I'm sure Hinata can finally go home. I saw her doing laundry the other day. She seemed to be back to her old self." Ino said with a smile as she stood from her seat. Shikamaru remained seated and allowed her statement to sink in. Hinata would quite possibly return home. Their time together was now coming to an end. There came another sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach. It was a feeling of regrets that started pool and travel up to his heart. He swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat. He didn't know why he was acting like this. This was supposed to be a good thing.

"Yeah," He managed out. "She's doing great."

"Well, I'd better get back to work. I'll see you next week." Ino waved as she exited his office. Shikamaru sat in his office alone for a few moments before preparing to lock everything up.

All of this was bound to happen.

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><p>Hinata didn't notice when Shikamaru had returned home. She'd been busy cleaning a few dishes after preparing dinner for the two of them. When Shikamaru stood beside her to gain her attention, she nearly jumped out of her skin.<p>

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking to myself is all," She replied with a half-smile. Hinata removed her gloves and removed her apron before heading over to the dinner table. As she began to fix their bowls of rice, Shikamaru noticed her sleeve riding up. Her skin had been so red and patchy. He didn't remember her looking that way before he left. He watched her carefully, but then nearly swept the thought away. Maybe she'd gotten into an accident. It was most likely something he didn't have to worry about.

"Thanks for dinner. I wasn't expecting this." Shikamaru began to stretch his shoulders before picking up his chopsticks.

"It's not a problem. We can't eat cup ramen forever." Hinata replied teasingly as she reached over to grab some of the grilled fish she'd made. He noticed that this time that the red patches extended further down her arm. As she began to withdraw back to her plate, Shikamaru grabbed her arm. Hinata jerked slightly, dropped the chopsticks she'd had in hand. "What's wrong? Let go of me." Her brow furrowed as she sought to undo his hold.

Shikamaru moved around the table and pulled down her sleeve. Her whole arm was red. He then grabbed her other arm and it was red and slightly scuffed as well. "What did you do?" He demanded as she snatched away from him.

"I didn't do anything." The Hyuga replied quickly, instantly becoming defensive.

"Don't start doing this again, Hinata. Don't start shutting me out." Shikamaru began to raise his voice, becoming more upset with her. He'd thought they'd gotten past all the infliction. He'd thought that Hinata had been doing better.

Hinata was hesitant to speak up. She pressed her lips together, running through different explanations in her mind. It wasn't like her to lie to anyone, and especially not now to him. She averted her gaze, unwilling to face him. "I saw myself earlier in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw."

"What do you mean you didn't like what you'd seen?" The Nara continued to watch her carefully.

"Exactly what I said!" She raised her voice. She could hear those thoughts coming to haunt her again. She could feel his hands scouring her body and touching every crevice. Seeing herself made her feel disgusting. "I didn't like what I'd seen. Look at me! I'm a mess. I'm a disgusting mess. He's ruined me." Her hands clenched on her knees, Hinata stared at the floor.

Shikamaru said nothing at first. The girl that he'd thought to be the most beautiful saw herself as merely something vile. The thought of her being unapproachable became a distant myth. He wanted her to understand who she was. He wanted her to see who herself really was.

The Nara reached for her hand and grabbed it gently before pulling her to her feet. He walked her over to the mirror and placed her in front of it. Hinata averted her eyes elsewhere, still unable to face herself. "Look into the mirror." Shikamaru urged gently.

"No. I can't." Hinata declined as she turned her head. Shikamaru stood behind her and grabbed her chin. He turned her head slowly so that she could see herself in the corner of her eye.

"Look." He pressed as he watched her gaze finally linger at her reflection. The person she saw was weak and less of a kunoichi. The person he saw was the opposite. The person that he saw was the real Hinata. "You are beautiful." Shikamaru began as he watched her in the mirror. "You're more than beautiful. You're something to behold. I want you to understand Hinata, that you are someone with strength. You are someone to be loved." Hinata could feel her face heat up and her eyes wander to Shikamaru's reflection. There was gentleness to his features. He admired her when she hated herself.

Shikamaru noticed her bare neck and leaned in to bury himself in it. His kisses were light and soft as he ran up to her earlobe. A shiver ran down Hinata's spine as he kissed her in her most sensitive spot. Her skin was warm and she smelled so wonderful. As his kisses moved to her cheek, Hinata tilted her head so that she could capture his lips. This time, their connection was stronger and more passionate than the first. Her body flared as Shikamaru pressed closely to her body.

Her body turned and he pulled her in closer by the waist, their lower halves pressing firmly against one another. He could feel her temperature rise and her breathing hitch. His hands travelled all over her body, touching every curve and memorizing every feature. As his hands moved, he kneeled down in front of her and removed her pants along the way. The Hyuga continued to watch as the Nara took control of the situation and didn't stop him when he'd slid her panties down her legs and cast them to the side.

She couldn't believe how badly she'd wanted it.

"Lie down." He commanded, watching as she made her place on the floor. In the mirror, she could still see herself half naked in front of her former friend. She turned her head, her cheeks bright with embarrassment. "No, keep looking. I want you to see how beautiful you are." Lilac eyes searched brown ones before lingering back to the mirror as requested. Once she had, one digit entered her moist entrance and caused her to let out a moan. Her eyes shut for a brief moment, but quickly fluttered open. She could see her rosy cheeks and Shikamaru's devious grin. Another digit entered her body and her legs began to quiver under his hold. Her body was slipping into a pleasure she'd never experienced before.

She couldn't control herself.

Slowly, his fingers eased their way out before pushing back in. His actions were meticulous yet eager. He wanted to hear more from her. He wanted to see more of the expressions that came because of his actions. She groaned out again, her back arching only slightly as she attempted to quiet herself. Never had she felt that way when she'd been violated. Never had she experienced such bliss. His actions had been more loving and tenderer than her first experience.

It frightened her yet excited her.

Shikamaru removed his fingers from within her and gazed down at her half naked body. He reached up and undid her top, revealing her mesh undershirt. He then took that off and finally revealed her whole body to him. His eyes scanned her over as he fawned over the curvy Hyuga. They skimmed her reddened face, her supple breasts, her toned body and fair skin. Below him, he could see her glistening entrance more than ready for his arrival. He reached down and cupped her cheek and she nudged into it gently, almost as if she'd accepted him.

He grinned down at her before placing another kiss against her soft lips. Then off his own clothes went and back he went to carving each part of her body in his memory. She kissed the scar at her side and moved down her navel to her inner thigh where she'd been burned. Then back up he went to her breasts where he flicked her nubs with his tongue before tugging at them with his teeth. Softly, she moaned in response, welcoming his actions.

Shikamaru continued his gestures, the tip of his shaft prodding at her entrance. Her legs squeeze tightly around his legs as he settled in between her own. Her grasp pulled him in only slightly, causing her body to completely stiffen. This was it; she was going to do it. Shikamaru would be the next person to have ever touched her body this way. And for her, she hoped that he would be the last that would see her this way, touch her this way, make her _feel _this way.

Shikamaru looked into her mauve eyes which had been filled with a need, a desire. He leaned into another kiss as his shaft began to pierce her body. She moaned into the kiss causing him to feel ticklish vibrations from her reaction. Shikamaru pulled back for a moment, gazing down at ample form. "Are you sure this is okay?" He asked, nearly regretting his question. Of course he would've hated to have to withdraw now.

Hinata bit her bottom lip, brows furrowed. There was nothing that she hadn't wanted more. His uncertainty only made her more certain. It had to be him. "Yes," She replied breathlessly, her arms laced around his neck. Upon her response, Shikamaru withdrew himself slowly and then thrust his way back inside, absorbing her warmth. Hinata bit back a moan and she pulled him as closely as she could to him. He had been slow and careful with her at first, but eventually his actions quickened into a steady pace. Her body moved against his, taking in all that he had to offer and enjoying every inch of his length.

And as she had come to enjoy him, he'd moved into a position which allowed him to further enter her. Her legs ended up on his shoulders and his hands gripped her things. Her cheeks remained flushed and eyes a deep wisteria filled with a demure lust. He couldn't stand it. The way she was looking at him drove him insane as he continued to thrust in her. And her moans, her moans became a babbling mess as she attempted to secrete her self-indulgence.

Their bodies were hot with desire and they'd both begun to feel the friction between the two of them. Hinata's legs were wrapped amply around his waist becoming tighter with each thrust. Her breathing was labored and her fingers were entangled in his hair. Shikamaru continued to grind his pelvis against hers, pushing into her as far as he possibly could with each movement.

With each stroke, she felt full and almost overwhelmed at Shikamaru's motions. He could feel her hot breath against the nape of his neck and her hands move down his back to dig into his flesh. He could feel the stinging pain of her nails, but was easily distracted by the sudden motion of her hips. As she beckoned him with her body, he gave into her subtle requests causing her to emit a deep moan as he lifted her to sit in his lap. His body was turned so that his back was towards the mirror and she could see herself visibly in the reflection. To see herself this way was more satisfying than embarrassing. It was a feeling that was hard to put into actual words. Seeing herself this way being pleasured by Shikamaru was something beyond what she could ever have imagined.

Hinata buried her face into the nape of his neck. Oh gods she was in love with him and she knew it.

She could feel it nearing. Her desires were about to spill. She felt like she was about to burst. She could feel his throbbing member as he pushed inside of her and pleasured her. She couldn't anymore and she could feel that he was at his end as well. Shikamaru leaned forward, his thrusts becoming rougher as he pushed himself to the edge. Together they came, holding each other tightly as they did.

"Shika-" Hinata managed out, breathing heavily. Those thoughts of being close to him were slowly beginning to fade and starting to become fleeting desires. Perhaps their situation had merely escalated to lust? Perhaps this had been his way of comforting her. Either way, she couldn't help but feel as though she might have been a bit selfish for accepting it. Honestly, she didn't mind at all whatever it was.

Shikamaru held Hinata close. He held her so close that he thought she might disappear if he hadn't. With her every breath, he watched her and brushed the bangs from her eyes. He couldn't help but think of how much he enjoyed being with her. He could help but think of how badly he never wanted her to leave and how he always anxiously awaited his time to come home from work. He loved seeing her there and he just knew somewhere in him their time together was coming to an end. "Yeah?" He finally replied, his chin resting against the top of his head.

"N-nothing," She replied quickly, feeling her face heat up. The Hyuga swept the thoughts away quickly and simply decided to enjoy his presence for as long as she could.

However long that was.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Wasn't it great? I mean I enjoyed writing it. I guess cause I write so many short pieces like this -shrugs- Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. If you did let me know, if you didn't also let me know~ Thanks for reading guys! **[Lumiwolf]**


	7. Hopeless

**Author's** **Note**:Hey guys, it's me again. I just want to thank you guys as always for following this trainwreck of a story I'm doing, lol. It's one of those things where I know the beginning and end and have to fill in the middle. But you guys seem to enjoy it so, I mean, what the hell right? I must be doing something decent. Anyway, I'm publishing again this week because I start school in a couple of weeks and my internship and so this is a buffer just in case I get behind again. But I promise you, I am not dropping this story. The more I think about this pairing the more in love I fall. It's crazy. I wanna give a special shoutout to MsChifSantos, because without you there is no way in hell I would've thought of them being together.

**Rated M: **For sexually suggestive themes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto~

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Hopeless<strong>

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><p>Breathlessly, Hinata lie on top of Shikamaru her body becoming numb. It was only a few more moments until she finally exhaled a sigh of satisfaction. She could feel Shikamaru's chest rise and fall against cheek before she roll over onto her back. Their daily rituals remained the same throughout the week. Shikamaru would leave for work in the morning, Hinata would clean in the afternoon, and then at night they would play shogi until they couldn't stand being so far apart.<p>

It was almost as if they fed off the fact that they'd been waiting for each other every day. It was until finally that their 'shogi nights' turned into mornings, sometimes lunches, including dinners. What had become of her? The thought of being near anyone used to make her skin crawl, but being near Shikamaru made her body feel hot as she watched his every action and reaction to her.

She moved to snuggle into his arm, a smile touching her lips. She was beyond incredibly happy being with him and felt as if their days together were blurring by. Shikamaru reached to pet her hair, a subtle smirk on his face. "Don't get too comfortable, I have to work remember?"

"I know, but can't you just miss just one day?" Hinata looked up at him, her eyes almost doe-like as she pouted. Shikamaru turned his head away from her, unable to completely face her as a light flush of embarrassment washed over him. He hated when she looked like that, it just made her even more adorable and him even more tempted to be late for work.

"No, I can't. Plus you have to go to that meeting I was telling you about. You promised you would go." Shikamaru then said, deflecting her attack. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before heading towards the bathroom. Hinata watched him lazily before yawning quietly.

"Right, I have to go and see Tsunade and be probed." There was a hint of sarcasm in Hinata's voice. She couldn't say that she was thrilled about having to go because she knew how Tsunade was. She had completely ignored her in order to attempt to battle her own demons. It probably wasn't the best way to go about things, but what's done is done. And there was nothing she could do to change the past.

Shikamaru paused at the bathroom door and swung back around to sit on the edge of the bed. He leaned over her, reaching out to touch her cheek. As he did, he stroked it with the back of his knuckles and then gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "It'll be fine, don't worry about it. Besides, all that stuff's behind you." Hinata looked up at him, suddenly feeling reassured.

She reached up and grasped his hand that had been caressing her cheek and smiled up at him. That feeling she had during their first time together began to settle onto her heart. As it quickened, she rubbed her cheek against the palm of his hand as she relished in his warmth. And all she could think was:

Gods, I'm so in love with him.

"You're right, it won't be so bad." Hinata said finally, her mind filled with a certainty that only Shikamaru could give.

* * *

><p>The weight of everything was gone. Hinata felt like she could really get back into the swing of things. She was happier than she'd ever been even before everything that had happened to her. She could say that it might have been because of Shikamaru. The Hyuga had even gone out into the village, gathering food to prepare for their supper. Everyone greeted her with excitement, all were happy to see her again. She'd forgotten her own reasoning as to why she hadn't wanted to see anyone.<p>

She supposed he had that effect on her.

Hinata cleaned the rest of the house and prepared herself for meeting with the Hokage and Ino. She could only have imagined what the Hokage would have to say to her. She knew that she had been ignoring them for a while now. It was improper of her and unfair to her leader. But now wasn't the time to think about that, now was it? She had to face what was going on head on and she was more than prepared to accept any punishment that might have come her way.

Hinata stood in front of Tsunade's office and took a deep breath. "Here goes." Raising her hand, she knocked against the door with the back of her hand. Quietly she waited, until she'd heard shuffling and permission to enter.

And as she entered the office, the smell of parchment and ink filled the air. It wasn't as tense as she'd imagined it to be, but the Hokage's office still retained its stuffy and stifling feeling that it always had. As usual, Tsunade had stacks of documents resting on her desk and a frantic Shizune scurrying about. Just as Shikamaru stated, it wasn't as bad as she'd imagined it to be.

Well, so far so good.

"Hinata Hyuga, long time no see." Tsunade said finally, a brief smile flashing across her lips.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade. It has been quite some time." Hinata replied awkwardly. She was partly surprised at the fact that Tsunade had reacted so calmly and then the other part of her awkwardness comprised of the fact that she hadn't seen her since before the incident. She could only assume that of course Tsunade knew what had happened to her.

"Well, it's good to see you back. I see that you have finally recovered and made the time to come down to my office." Tsunade stood from her desk and then moved to sit on top of it in front of Hinata.

"Yes, I apologize for my absence. I know it was very unprofessional of me to react that way. I was just…I don't know…" Hinata tried to find the right words to reply. What was a good answer to give to her? How could she describe the truths that bothered her on a daily basis up until recently?

"It's quite alright. I'm just glad to see you're back. You know what is going to come next? You need to be mentally examined and then physically since you've missed out on several weeks of meeting with Ino. Sakura is busy tending to some other things and I assumed that you would be much more comfortable with Ino around." Tsunade then explained.

"Y-yes, I am well aware of what I'm here for." Hinata replied quietly, her eyes searching the floor for something that wasn't there. She thought she was prepared for what was going to happen between her and Ino, but she wasn't so sure anymore. Not that everything had become real, she wasn't so sure if she could reveal her realities to one of her closest friends.

"But that's not all. There's something else that I need to tell you." Tsunade pushed herself from her desk and moved around to take a seat again. Hinata watched her carefully, doing her best to keep her curiosity at bay. "That man that we were after…we've found him. I've organized a team to finally capture him and put him to trial."

Hinata was silent for a very long time. She allowed her words to sink into her like lead drifting to the bottom of an ocean. They found him. _They found him. _That phrase continued to repeat in her mind over and over. She couldn't believe that they had found him. Just thinking about him made her forget exactly where she was. Tsunade watched Hinata after she'd given her the news and noticed that her face remained void of any emotion yet her hands were clenched into tight fists until they were stark white.

Tsunade sighed. "Listen, Hinata—"

"No," Hinata cut her off, swallowing before finally managing the words out. "Listen, if you're going to go and capture him you have to take me with you."

"No, absolutely not," Tsunade replied sternly. "I cannot allow you to attend this mission."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful but you owe me this. I _need _to go on this mission. I just have to; you can't deny me this opportunity!" Hinata raised her voice, her hands clenching into fists again. Her brow was furrowed with what appeared to be anger or perhaps hurt. She couldn't understand why Tsunade wouldn't allow it. Hinata felt that it was only proper that she go on the mission as well.

"Hinata I don't owe you anything. _You _owe it to yourself to stay out of this. I cannot allow you to attend this mission. You did an excellent job out there Hinata, but you aren't allowed to go back. I haven't seen any of your medical records as of late and I don't think it's good for you to return. That is an order." The blonde's coffee colored hues turned serious. As Hinata stared back at her, she realized right now wasn't the time to argue against her. "Is that understood?"

"Yes." Hinata bit out her eyes lowering to the floor again.

Tsunade fell silent. She knew that not telling her was likely just as bad, but somehow she also knew that Hinata wouldn't end it there. Perhaps withholding that information might have actually been in both of their favors. "ino is waiting for you in the medical room. Go straight there and have your medical examination performed." She knew that part of her was like Hinata, especially the Hinata that sat before her now. She was determined to exact vengeance, but she couldn't allow her to go about it the way she was presently. The Hokage knew that she would have to think on it a bit more. "You are dismissed."

Hinata bowed and exited the room. As she headed down the stairs, she felt anger begin to pool in the pit of her stomach. Was she mad at the Hokage or was she angry at the fact that she felt useless again? Her only chance was starting to fade away. She more than deserved the opportunity to go on that mission to redeem herself. She wanted to take back the only thing she could possibly take back:

Her dignity

* * *

><p>So much had happened within the course of two months that her old self could no longer be found. Her knew self was beginning to arise and that strength didn't come from the drive to retaliate but her time with Shikamaru. She continued to walk seemingly aimlessly until she was stopped by a familiar kunoichi. "Oi, Hinata," Shouted a brunette, with two buns atop her head. Hinata glanced up and managed out a smile.<p>

"Hi Tenten, I hope you've been well." The Hyuga replied with a smile.

"How have you been?" Tenten's eyes lit up as she scanned over Hinata's body. "You look great!"

"I've been doing well. I'm just learning to get back into the swing of things." Hinata replied simply, thinking over her time at the Nara residence.

"I hear that you've been staying with Shikamaru. I hope that he's been treating you well. I'm sure you can't wait until you can go home." Tenten continued to chatter.

_Home? _

She never really thought about it but Shikamaru's place felt more like home. Every day that she woke up, she felt like she was already there in his arms, feeling all the warmth that he'd provided her during their time together. Hinata's cheeks began to heat up as she thought of her time with him. Well, as she thought of _all _their times together. A shy smile crawled across her visage as she briefly lowered her gaze. "Don't worry; he's been taking _really _great care of me."

"Oh?" Tenten titled her head at Hinata's statement. Then as if coming to a realization, the kunoichi smiled and pulled Hinata into a hug. "I'm glad you're okay. I was so worried about you." Tenten muttered quietly as the held onto Hinata. The Hyuga's blush began to fade and eventually she returned the hug. Hinata realized the depth of her actions, not only to those close to her, but also to those she'd pushed at a distance. She pulled back, feeling the thoughts she'd had earlier begin to subside. Tenten continued to smile and Hinata returned it, hoping to give Tenten some reassurance.

"I'm fine, I promise." Hinata then said and Tenten followed up with a nod. "I have to go; I have an appointment. Maybe we can catch up again sometime later? "

"Sure, I'll see you later!" Tenten beamed as she hurried past her. Hinata watched after her friend, the feeling of her warmth still lingering. If she could just remain like this for the rest of her days, she wouldn't have to worry about _him. _

Here was where she needed to be, with the ones who loved her.

* * *

><p>The room was cooler than she remembered the last time she was here. She sat on the table and rubbed her arms with a shiver. The last time she was here, things didn't end so well for her. Perhaps the second time would be better? Hinata tried to find comfort that could settle her uneasiness. But when she did, Ino came into the room. As she shut the door behind her, Ino began to scribble some things on her clipboard before focusing on her fellow comrade. They stared at each other in silence, being the first time in a while since they'd seen each other.<p>

Since that day.

"I hear you've been doing better." Ino began as she moved to sit in the chair across from her. Hinata didn't reply; she merely averted her eyes. Guilt began to fill the pit of her stomach, as she struggled to face her friend. After all she'd done for her; she'd been ignoring her the whole time. "Don't worry it's fine. I understand you had to deal with some things on your own. But now you're here and we don't have to worry about that anymore, right?"

Hinata lifted her gaze and nodded, before shifting her weight on the table. She began to settle into a more comfortable position, feeling her worries begin to ease. "Right."

"Well, let's get started. I think that first, I would much rather get the…mental examination out of the way if you don't mind?" Ino waited for Hinata's response. Hinata, however, felt like she didn't have much of a choice. It was now or never, she supposed. The Hyuga exhaled and closed her eyes, prepared to accept Ino's passage into her mind.

_Into the dark corners of her mind. _

Ino performed her hand seals, and slowly began to feel her body become heavy. Her spirit peeled itself from her body, and darted into the mind of the Hyuga. She pushed past every recent memory that Hinata had, no matter how interesting they appeared to be until finally she found the one that she needed. When she arrived, she could feel a heavy feeling desolation, isolation, and suffering. She could see nothing, but could feel everything. She could _hear _everything. She could hear every word that was spoken between the two of them and could feel every physical exchange.

All of it.

When she felt the pain, she screamed when Hinata had. Tears prickled her eyes as she took the very form of Hinata and heard every thought that crossed her mind. Not matter what had happened to her, Hinata refused to speak. She refused to allow him to break her until he took away the only thing she had left.

It was then that Ino could feel herself pull out of Hinata's body, unable to continue further into the memory. When she returned to her body, she slowly opened her eyes and peered over at Hinata. Hinata remained motionless, her eyes were closed but her body remained relaxed. Ino swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and forced back the tears that fought to fall. And as Hinata opened her eyes, she could see the discomfort settling on Ino's face.

Now she knew.

"Hinata, I—, "Ino began.

"Don't." Hinata raised her hand to stop her. She couldn't bear the pity of her friend nor could she bear to cry about it again. She'd done too much of that already and it was about time that she got over it. "It's in the past, right? I don't want to reflect on it, okay?" Hinata could feel her lip tremble as she spoke to her friend. She bit her bottom lip, forcing herself to move past her emotions. Ino focused her attention back to her clipboard and began to scribble down a few notes before standing from her seat. She lifted her hand up and a soft green glow began to emit from her palm.

"Now for the physical examination then," Ino mumbled quietly. She moved her hand across Hinata's body and then checked the areas in which she had been previously assaulted. Everything seemed to be fine, except for the small flame that made itself known inside of Hinata's body. Ino stepped back and turned her back to the Hyuga. She reached for the clipboard and began to scribble some things before turning back to her. Her steel blue orbs deepened with uncertainty.

"Ino please. I told you, I don't want to talk about it. Can we finish this up?" Hinata then said tiredly, as she pushed her bangs from her eyes. As great as Ino had been at that technique, it had to be the first time it was used on her like that. She was so exhausted.

"It's not about that Hinata." Ino snipped causing Hinata to raise her head in confusion.

"Then what? What is it? Are you done?" Hinata began to get off the table and gather her things. But as she did, Ino stopped her and finally managed out:

"You're pregnant."

Hinata stood still; it was as if her body had begun to shut down starting with her legs. Ino quickly caught her and held her up to the best of her ability. "Hinata listen, I can't really tell how long you are right now. We'll have to schedule another appointment to really find out." Ino's words were nothing but a jumbled mess to Hinata. All that she managed to understand was that she was pregnant. She didn't feel pregnant. She felt happy, never sick and lately filled with energy. Her monthlies were never a day late, in fact sometimes they arrived early. None of it seemed to make sense. She didn't understand.

No, she couldn't be pregnant.

Hinata could feel her happiness begin to slip away from her again.

"This can't be happening…" She managed out, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

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><p>The walk home was a long one. It was a long and shameful one. She could see him flashing into her mind, taking it over, devouring her again. He promised to break her. He really did. The life that she felt that she co<p>

* * *

><p>uld have seemed no longer obtainable. Although Ino had told her she was uncertain as to how long she'd been, Hinata couldn't help but think the worst of her situation.<p>

As she walked inside of the Nara residence, she watched the back of Shikamaru as he moved a piece on the board. Quickly, she headed towards the kitchen to find a place to hide out but Shikamaru had already begun dinner. She stood in front of the stove and stared into the pot of boiling curry and not long after she felt Shikamaru's strong arms wrap around her shoulder and waist. Her body tensed as he rested his head on her shoulder. "It's kinda rude to not say hello when you return." His lips brushed against the nape of her neck and Hinata tried to relax. "Are you alright?" Shikamaru then asked.

"I'm fine." She replied quickly, forcing a smile. "I see you've made dinner. I hope it tastes good."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He grinned, turning her to face him. Shikamaru stared into her lavender hues, noticing the puffiness and tinge of redness in her beautiful eyes. "Are you okay?" Shikamaru shifted gears, his hand cupping her cheek. Hinata leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. She inhaled and then slowly exhaled.

Damn him for being so perceptive.

"I'm just fine. I had that examination today with Ino." Hinata began, her eyes focusing on him now. She thought about what her next words would be. Would it be the truth? Would it be the _partial _truth? Saying what she had to say aloud would only make her situation more difficult for her but not only that but it could take away her current happiness. She just wanted to relish in it for a little while longer.

_Just a little while_

"It's over now. Now it's time for me to give you an examination." A devious grin crept across his lips. He was attempting to lighten the mood between the two of them. He knew full well what it meant to finally see Ino and show her exactly what had happened to her. He wanted to say he felt what she had, but he couldn't. There was no way that he could feel it, but over time he had come to understand her. Hinata smiled, the most genuine she had given all day. He always knew exactly how to make her feel better.

A light flush appeared on her cheeks as he continued to hold onto her. Still, his words never stopped embarrassing her. "D-don't say things like that." She stuttered out, her mind more focused on the man in front of her.

"Why not? Is it because you don't like showing me that cute face of yours?" He leaned in, his lips brushing against hers. He made her body feel warm and excited to the core. For now, she would accept him and cast aside her thoughts.

Even if it was just for a few minutes.

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><p>Hinata lie beside Shikamaru, having had their fill of one another. If she could stay like this, in their perfect home together, and lead perfect lives then she felt that things couldn't get any better. She wondered if Shikamaru had felt the same way. Regardless, she didn't have time to reflect back onto everything that had been going on in her life. Right now, she wanted to focus on him. She wanted him to know with all her heart,<p>

"I love you." She whispered, feeling as if it may have been the last time that she would say those words to him. Shikamaru was silent but soon shifted his weight so that he was hovering over her again. His dark eyes peered into her bright opalescent ones and then he replied,

"I love you too." Before gifting her with a kiss. Hinata pulled him in close, holding onto him as if he might vanish from her grasp. Small tears prickled the corners of her eyes. If only he knew how much he meant to her and how much she wished that this would all last.

But nothing ever lasted forever.

Losing something else important to her was nothing new for Hinata Hyuga.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: Yeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh. That happened. I promise I don't mean to torture Hinata, I love her ;3;. Thanks so much again for reading this. As always, I appreciate every review I receive from everyone good or bad. I will see you guys again soon! **[Lumiwolf]**


	8. Yielding

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, long time no see. Today I will publish two chapters as usual as a nice little buffer. School starts for me and my internship starts Tuesday so I'm trying to make sure I finish this up here soon before I get too busy.

**Rated M **for Profanity

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight: Yielding<strong>

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><p>Without a shadow of a doubt, there was something going on with Hinata. Ever since their night together, ever since they'd expressed themselves, things had been a bit different. Hinata never stopped doing her usual and she was right where he'd expected her to be after work. Dinner continued to be prepared as usual and their games of shogi proceeded as usual.<p>

So nothing was out of the ordinary right?

Wrong.

Something felt off and he just couldn't quite put his finger on it. He sat in his office chair, unable to focus on the task at hand. He was happy with her, but at what cost? Was she really happy with him? He leaned forward and began to sign off on a few documents, riddling himself with worry and all the possible scenarios of their relationship. He tried to figure out what she could possibly be thinking about or what could actually be bothering her. It could've been her conversation with Ino the other day and it could have also been her meeting with the Tsunade.

Lately she'd been pretty busy, but he'd decided not to push her on the subject. Women were so fickle and he couldn't imagine picking at her about it. "What a drag…" He sighed before pinching the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe he was worrying over a girl. Of all people: Hinata Hyuga.

"What's a drag this time?" Ino stood in the door frame of his office, her brow raised. She was right on schedule as always.

"Nothing," He replied curtly as he turned his chair away from her. There was no way he was going to have this discussion with another woman. He was especially not going to have this conversation with Ino of all people.

"Shikamaru, you've been my friend for a very long time. I know you too well. '_Nothing_' wouldn't have you distracted away from work. So what's the deal? Trouble in paradise?" She pressed teasingly.

Shikamaru stiffened and turned to give her a quizzical look.

"What? You think I don't know. I did give her a mental exam. I mean, it comes with the job to know these things." A small grin slowly crept across her fair features.

_Right, shit. _

"Alright, busted. Tch, you should really learn how to keep your nose out of other peoples' business." Shikamaru retorted. "Besides, I really don't want to talk about this, alright?" Ino's grin began to fade as she watched him stare at the pages on his desk. She took heed to his word and made her exit from his office quietly. When silence began to consume him, he glanced up and finally noticed that she'd left.

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><p>For a second there he was beginning to regret not speaking to her about anything. He was definitely in a corner about Hinata and he was running out of options. He began to massage the temples of his forehead, attempting to calculate his relationship. It was a calculation in which he felt he'd never be able to do.<p>

Hinata put the final touches on the Nara residence. Everything had been cleaned and all her things had been packed. It was a difficult decision, but she felt like it was more than enough time to go back home to where she belonged. People needed her and she also needed to defend her honor. It was her honor as the head of the Hyuga clan and her honor as an important asset to the village. She had had unfinished business and that was all there was to it.

Well, there were other things that were part it. There were things that she wasn't able to completely discuss with the person that she cared for. Here her thoughts of being a burden crept back into the forefront of her mind. The odd feeling of betrayal had also disturbed her thoughts as she reached down to touch her stomach. Growing inside of her might have been a piece of that betrayal. She clenched her shirt, biting back that ill lump growing in her throat.

It was time for her to go.

She moved over to grab her bag, when a soft knock emitted from the door. She couldn't think of who would come by during the day like this, because no one really ever did. Everyone knew that Shikamaru was at work and no one usually came to bother her, knowing that she was there. She quickly went to the door and opened it to find the Yamanaka standing there. In her hand was a bouquet of sunflowers, Hinata's favorite.

"Can I come in?" Ino inquired, extending her hand full of flowers out to the fellow kunoichi. Hinata reached out and grabbed a hold of the flowers before stepping aside to allow the blonde inside. As she did, she closed the door behind her and went over into the kitchen and began to put the flowers in a small pot of water. Ino moved to sit in the seating area, quietly waiting for Hinata's return.

"Would you like some tea?" Hinata called, breaking the silence between the two of them.

"Uh, yeah sure," Ino replied.

Hinata put another pot of water onto the burner and began to heat it. She also pulled out some cups for whenever the water would be ready and placed it on a small tray before coming into where Ino had been seated. As she sat down, she noticed that Ino had been a bit tense. This meant that her visit hadn't just been a casual one or by chance. From the looks of it, the conversation entailed something that she knew she wasn't prepared to discuss with her.

"So what brings you here?" She began, finally settling her eyes on Ino.

"Oh you know just coming by to check on you. And to talk to you about…what we discussed last week." The blonde explained, exhaling as she did.

"Couldn't this have waited some other time? I don't think that this is a great time for me." Hinata stood from her place and attempted to get away from her current situation, but the Yamanaka stopped her and pulled her back down into her seat.

"Listen to me, alright? I am more than certain that you haven't spoken to Shikamaru about this." As Ino said this, she almost questioned what she was talking about for a split second before she realized that she had done the mental examination on her before. That meant that while she was looking for a specific previous memory, she also had to filter through the most present of memories. Hinata felt a bit embarrassed, but that soon subsided when Ino continued. "I know it's also none of my business but Shikamaru's my friend. Both of you are my friends. The last thing that I would want is that for anyone to get hurt. You should talk to him about it because I'm almost certain that those bags don't mean you were just cleaning up."

"You're right, Ino." Hinata thought long and hard about the things that had been going on around her. She thought about the things that had been happening to her and how she had been dealing with her situations. She thought about how it could possibly affect her relationships with everyone and especially with Shikamaru. It wasn't as if she didn't think about the possibly outcomes or reflect on her situation. She'd done all of those things and more. But at the end of the day, her outcomes would be the result of her choices or her choices alone and not anyone else's. "It's not any of your business."

Ino's blue eyes changed subtly from concern to a bit of hurt. Her words stung at her a bit. But it also showed her what kind of mindset that Hinata had to be in. She'd never had her respond in such a way. She'd also never seen her have such a look of determination. Hinata had definitely grown some since the last time she'd spoken with her. "Well, let's talk about something I do have business in. This time let's talk about your pregnancy…"

Hinata stiffened at her last word. Instinctively, she reached down to clutch her stomach and quickly stood up from her seat. The hissing sound of the pot signaled that the water was hot enough and she dashed into the kitchen to grab it. As she did, her hands shook. She was not ready to talk about this at all. She placed the hot pot on the tray and grabbed the tea leaves and sprinkled a bit inside of the pot. As she turned around to head back into the seating area, she noticed that Ino had repositioned herself in a fashion that when she'd entered the room she was now facing her. Silently, she set the tray onto the table and began to pour them both some tea into the ceramic cups.

"Hinata, I told you about not quite knowing whether or not I knew how long you'd been pregnant. And I just…I just want to tell you the truth about it. I know how long you are and I want to make sure you're prepared to know how long you are. I can't stand to see you like this. I can't stand you pushing away from Shikamaru like this…" She reached for Hinata's hand, but she withdrew. Shaking her head, she rejected not only Ino but what Ino had to say.

"No. Just don't…I don't want to talk about, Ino. I don't think I want to know just yet." Right, she didn't _need _to know. Not just yet. She couldn't imagine the news, because things could go either way. But the fear of it leaning in the direction that she hadn't wanted it to is what bothered her the most. She picked up the warm cup and began to blow gently at the steam before taking a drink. Ino mimicked her, her eyes filled with worry.

"That's fine. I just hope that you know what you're doing." Ino murmured. Hinata's eyes wandered over to the bags she'd packed earlier on.

Yeah, she knew exactly what she was doing.

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><p>Hinata sat alone in silence. There was the dim lighting of the sun as it had begun to set on the horizon that allowed her to see the board. She could see their chess board. The moves that they had made extended from days and days of playing. Hinata had gotten so much better at the game and all from Shikamaru's guidance. She smiled to herself as she played with the piece in her hand. She placed it on the board and pushed it gently across it.<p>

Then she stood up and began to put away some things as they were. As she moved across the Nara residence, she made sure everything was in order and all the dishes were cleaned. She grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She gave the place that that she'd called home for the last few months once last look before quite possibly leaving it behind forever.

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><p>Shikamaru began to pack his things at the end of his day. There were still a few things he managed to not finish, all because he couldn't keep his mind off of Hinata. However, by the end of the day he had finally decided that he was going to speak with her when he got back. In one hand, he had a small flower while the other remained stuffed into his pocket. For some reason, he found himself taking the long way home in order to gather his thoughts.<p>

The Nara thought of how things were between the two of them. He couldn't deny the fact that they'd sort of blossomed. Things weren't nearly as tedious as they'd been in the beginning or even when he'd lived his days alone. Sun up to sun down he did about the same things every day. Never once did the thought of being with a girl cross his mind. He always thought them to be much too complex and such a pain. But with Hinata, he couldn't explain it. It might have had something to do with the fact that he was around her all the time. Maybe only then was he able to try and understand her. It was exactly why he knew he needed to talk to her.

When he finally reached his home, he noticed that there was only a small light flickering inside. He wondered what that was about. Usually the lights would be on and Hinata would maybe be making dinner for him. He looked down at the flower in his hand and twirled it between his index finger and his thumb. Slowly, he raised it to his nose and inhaled its scent.

Yeah, this was the right thing to do.

He reached for the handle and then pulled the door open. As he stepped inside, he noticed how dark it was inside and reached for the lights to turn them on. "Oi, I'm home." He called out into the first empty room. He set the flower on a nearby counter and then moved to head into the bedroom. It was dark there too.

Shikamaru checked the bathroom and then went back into the kitchen. All that he could see was a plate of food being reserved on the counter. It was only one serving too. He could feel a pang of panic wash over him. Where was she? Where could she have gone? He hurried back into the room and filtered through the closet and then the drawers. He couldn't find any of her clothes and her bag wasn't in the corner it had been sitting in since she arrived.

He went back into the kitchen, searched for maybe a note, maybe some sort of explanation to what the hell was going on. So many things ran through his mind but he couldn't settle on one conclusion. He felt like he was going on insane. He was a smart guy, right? Why couldn't he face the reality of the situation and realize that she was gone. And possibly, Hinata wasn't coming back. But for him, he needed tangible evidence.

She hadn't said anything to him so it couldn't have been true. Hinata wouldn't do that to him, now would she? Shikamaru found himself standing where they'd usually sit in the living area. He looked around only to see that everything had been in order, almost as if she'd never been there in the first place. His eyes finally fell onto the table where the shogi board was. He stared at the pieces intently, analyzing their positions. He noticed that everything wasn't as they were when he'd left in the morning and moved in the take a closer look.

As he settled into his spot across the board, he continued to stare at it before leaning back onto the pillow on the floor. He noticed the fresh flowers sitting beside it and then the empty space where Hinata would usually sit. She wasn't there and there was no way she was coming back. She'd made it very clear to him.

He stared at the board once more. Hinata had finally figured out a way to beat him in the eleventh hour. This was it; this was her 'goodbye.'

_Checkmate._

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Pretty short chapter, I know. But I have another chapter being posted here in a sec. Please leave a review if you would be so kind. **[Lumiwolf]**


	9. Uncertainty

**Author's Note: **Yo, I'm here. I'll leave my little notes here at the end.

**Rated M **for Profanity [for now]

Kumogakure - Village Hidden in the Clouds

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or there'd be a spin off series otome style Hina-harem~

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Uncertainty<strong>

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><p>He loathed the uneasy feeling that he had. Every bit of him didn't want to go to work today. But it hadn't always been that. As a matter of fact, it had slowly become an issue for him. He was so irritated, by everything. Shikamaru stared outside of his window and up at the sky. The fleeting feeling he'd had as a child when he looked up at the clouds came back to him. The Nara was a bit envious of them. They never had any obligations and never had to worry about troublesome women.<p>

He exhaled out of frustration.

It had been much too long. When had been the last time he'd seen Hinata? Two days? Three days? No, it had to be much longer than that. Or at least it felt that way. Hinata had made it impossible for him to be able to see her. She was clearly taking an alternate route away from his office, because he never saw her. He hardly heard about her either, because whenever he asked Tenten she just completely avoided the subject.

So was everyone hiding her away from him? Had he done something wrong? Perhaps he was a bit too late on having that discussion with her.

"Tch, what does it matter then? If she doesn't want to talk to me then fine. I can't possibly make her talk to me. I mean, she's an adult." He muttered to himself as he pressed his chin against the palm of his hand. He leaned against his arm as he stared out of the window, filing away all his feelings as best as he could. "She has the right to do whatever she wants. She's probably fine." Shikamaru continued to mumble to himself, grasping at whatever reasoning he could.

He was going crazy.

"Yeah, I don't care. Women are nothing but trouble anyway." He said decisively as he turned his attention to his pile of work. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a blond ponytail flicker by his door. As he lifted his head, he noticed that it was Ino. She hadn't come by the office for quite some time and he was getting an unsettling suspicious feeling that she was avoiding him on purpose. He narrowed his eyes in thought as he tried to draw his own conclusions and settle on the idea that he didn't care.

He sat there for a few moments and then watched as she headed further into the village.

Oh no, there was no way he was going to let her get away with _avoiding _him. He stood up from his desk and headed out his door. "Ino!" He shouted after her, attempting to wave her down. The blonde looked back at him and slowly smiled, seemingly nervously. And then, as if she'd decided to, Ino began to walk his way her eyes diverted towards the ground.

When she finally arrived in front of him, she half-smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "H-hey Shikamaru," She greeted nervously. "What's going on?" Her eyes finally met his and he found himself searching for answers.

Answers to something he knew he was going to have to _pry _out of her.

"Oh nothing, I've just noticed that you haven't come by my office to bug me. What's been different the last few days? I mean, there just can't be anything going on in the village. It's almost as if you're avoiding me." Shikamaru began laughing. He was laughing a laugh that never really reached his eyes.

Ino became even more uncomfortable and she clung tightly to her clipboard and shifted her weight onto one foot. As a person who'd been great at interrogations, for some odd reason when Shikamaru interrogated her she always felt uneasy. And the blonde also knew that she could easily crumple under his pressure, especially since he knew her so very well. "I'm not avoiding you. I've just been busy lately. I mean, you do know who the Hokage is? She is always expecting the nearly impossible out of people these days. I've got a lot on my plate, y'know." The Yamanaka quickly rebounded, her voice gaining a bit of strength.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed at her with uncertainty. He wasn't going to let her off the hook just yet. He just had to trip her up a bit. He hated to have to put in the effort, but he was in dire need of information that he knew he couldn't get from the source. "You've been busy, hm? So if you've been busy, then that must mean you actually do work. Let's say…you do work in meddling in other people's relationships?" Shikamaru uttered quietly to her bitterly. Now, he was just taking his frustrations out on her.

_Shit_

Ino's eyes leered at him. Boy, he sure knew how to make things worse than what they were. Shikamaru sighed and rubbed the back of his head before settling his eyes elsewhere. "Sorry I didn't mean…"

He'd done it now.

"You _listen _here, buddy. I do a lot here and I endure a lot around here. I don't need you telling _me _that I've not been doing my job. You know how much work means to me." Ino huffed as she pushed her index finger into his chest. "Just because you're having trouble in paradise, doesn't mean you get to take it out on me. Besides, the one that's not been doing work has been you." She nodded over at his office, which she'd known had a desk full of papers stacked as tall as the Hokage monument.

"I know, I know." He absolutely hated when she was right about something. But, she really was right about everything. He was taking it all out on her because he was frustrated with himself. He'd never felt so completely powerless in his life. And here he thought he'd sworn off women. "I'm sorry, please forgive me. And while you're at it, why don't you tell me what's going on with her. I haven't seen her, I haven't heard from her. I just need a bit of closure and you're about the closest thing I can get to finding out about her."

The head of the T&I Department sighed as she looked to her friend. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him back to his office and shut the door behind them before locking it as well. She rested against the door, her head down as he moved to sit in his chair. Pacing a bit, she finally turned to him and said, "She's fine, kinda, sorta." She pursed her lips, fighting to reveal the information that she had to him.

"That's awfully helpful." Shikamaru replied sarcastically.

"Ugh," Ino exhaled with frustration. "Listen, she's fine but she wanted me to stay out of this. But honestly, like I told her, I can't stand to see you guys this way and it isn't fair to you. She found out about the scum that did those horrible things to her and she's been adamant recently about taking on the current mission to capture him. "

Shikamaru leaned forward in his chair, his visage foreboding. "What do you mean? I need an explanation."

Ino began to retell her recollection of their meeting between the Hokage, Hinata, and she. Although she knew that she probably shouldn't have revealed this information, her expression of concern was out of love for a fellow kunoichi as well as one of her best friends.

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><p><em>Hinata's palms were sweaty. What was she nervous for? Maybe it was because she might've already known what the verdict would be when she spoke to the Hokage. Maybe it was because she'd finally cast aside something she knew that had been holding her back. And fragments of those feelings were still there as she forced her way ahead into the future. When had she become so stubborn over the years?<br>_

_All of her life, she'd followed what was told of her very carefully. All of her life, she'd been undermined as weak and frail. And all of her life, people doubted her capabilities and what she'd been able to handle. But then as of recent, she'd been excelling beyond the doubts of others and even her own. _

_Nothing could stop her now and nothing ever would. _

_Or so she presumed. _

_She swallowed the lump in her throat. The Hyuga had been more than upset with herself. She'd avoided the one person that took her in. She'd tossed aside the one person who truly loved her for her flaws and made her see who she really was. She pushed aside someone who'd pulled her out of the darkness and brought her back to her former self. She'd denied the love of someone who'd taken her in unconditionally and enveloped her with the warm embrace of their love and promises to protect her. _

_Perhaps she was a fool. _

_Hinata bawled her fists as she stared at the barrier between her and the insides of the Hokage's office. If she stepped inside, that would mean that she had accepted what she was doing. And then as a form of punishment she would also carry out the mission that she hoped she'd be given. And after that mission was over, bear the child that grew in her stomach by the minute and never face the one who'd done so much for her ever again. _

_She was a fool._

_But it didn't matter. Nothing matter anymore. She lifted her hand to rap gently against the door with the back of her hand. When she'd gained permission, she entered palms still sweaty but mind completely clear. As she settled into the room, she could see Ino standing behind the Hokage, hands behind her back. Her eyes scanned the room. It was empty aside from the three of them. _

_Playing enough matches with Shikamaru had made her more perceptive of her environment. She knew exactly where this conversation was going to head if she didn't play her cards right. She stood before them, holding her hands in front of herself. She was not walking out of the office the way she had last time. _

"_Hello, Hinata. You asked for a meeting with me. I've reviewed your request, however before I hand you my decision is there anything that you'd like to say?" Tsunade watched her carefully, her visage revealing nothing about which way her verdict was going to go._

"_Lady Tsunade, I just want to begin by apologizing about the way that I had handled our last meeting. Since our last time together, I have greatly improved in mental awareness as well as mental stability. Back then, I was in a mode of recovery since my last mission. Now, I feel as though I am in the right mind when I say I implore you to allow me onto the current mission. I do know that under the circumstances you have every right to decide not to let me go, but hear me out on this. It's not that I want to go on this mission because I'm on some vendetta. I want to go on this mission because I feel as though I need to redeem myself. I need this closure." Hinata explained eloquently, feeling the strength in her words. _

"_I see. Well I understand what you're saying. But is that really what you're feeling? You say that you're not on a vendetta, but I can't be too sure. I can't just hand you this mission, especially from reading the physical examination you've received from Ino. It has been brought to my attention that you are pregnant. Is that correct?" Tsunade pressed._

_Hinata had mentally prepared herself for this question, or so she thought. Her stomach began to churn as she began to think about the life that had been growing inside. Taking a deep breath, she replied "Yes, that is correct."_

"_Do you know how long you are?" Tsunade then asked, picking the clipboard up from her desk and flipping through the pages. "It appears as though Ino couldn't make a judgment on the exact date, then I'm assuming you don't either."_

"_That is correct." Hinata responded again._

"_Then how do I know that you aren't on a vendetta? How do I know that you aren't seeking revenge by going on this mission? I don't want you to go rouge. In order to carry this out, I need you to be able to follow instruction and not follow the beaten path that many have." The eldest blonde urged. _

"_The answer to that is you don't know. You have to trust me. I've done well, Lady Tsunade. Over the years I have begun to shine more brilliantly than those who have always been ahead of me. I always keep my word and I have never failed you. I don't want to start now." Hinata kept her voice even. She knew that if she didn't keep her emotions in check, she would start babbling and burst into tears. Not because she was sad, but because she wanted this more than anything. _

_She just needed the Hokage to see that. _

"_Alright then, this decision will be decided based off of your physician's recommendation." Tsunade nodded towards Ino, which caused the younger blonde to lose all color in her face. To have the final verdict rest on her shoulders was clearly not something that she had expected to happen. As a matter of fact, she thought she was there merely as the examiner and to also be able to recount the details of their last examination. _

_Not to be thrown out to sea without anything to cling to._

_Ino stepped forward and looked into Hinata's eyes. They hadn't said anything, but Ino could clearly see what Hinata was trying to emulate to her. There was a twinge of hurt yet determination in her eyes. Under normal circumstances she would have never recommended that Hinata go back out there. She'd never recommend it especially knowing her background with the current person being perused. There were a lot of unanswered questions as to why Hinata had been captured in the first place._

_There were a lot of missing pieces for the picture that needed to be formed. Why had Hinata been captured in the first place? What information had he needed from her or attempted to prod from her. From the looks of her inspection, there was nothing that Hinata held of value except…_

_Now as she thought it, maybe she was putting Hinata in danger. But then again, thinking that way would assume that Hinata wasn't able to handle herself. Things happened all the time in the ninja world and no one was perfect. She knew all too well how it felt to not be taken seriously and even not thought of to be strong at all. _

"_I think that…" The blonde thought for a second longer, feeling hesitant to give her decision. Tsunade was placing something very delicate, very important in her hands. She wanted to be right about this, she wanted to be certain. Whatever decision she made would be the beginning of one thing and possibly the end of another. "Hinata should be allowed to go on this mission. I believe that during our examination Hinata showed no signs of traumatic distress actually. Her mind also held no ill intent, even after the unfortunate events that inflicted her." She could see a shift in Hinata's face. The once poised Hyuga became less tense and her eyes were filled gratefulness. _

_But she couldn't celebrate just yet. Just because she'd received high marks, didn't mean that Tsunade wouldn't still deny her again._

"_Alright, I have taken into consideration that Ino has done your mental examination as well as the fact that you have done very well over the last few years. You've proven yourself capable of handling many situations. I also believe that, although you say you have recovered there are still some things you need to face on your own. I grant you permission to take on this mission." Tsunade began to scribble a few things down on parchment and then handed Hinata scroll. The Hyuga took it into her hands and opened it quickly to read its contents. _

_Her hands wouldn't stop shaking. She was thrilled that she was given this opportunity. She looked to the Hokage and smiled, her eyes lighting up. "Thank you so much." She directed her thanks to both of them before quickly scurrying out of the office._

_Ino fretted over her decision for a few moments before shaking away the guilt that attempted to wash over her. Under normal circumstances this would be okay, because she would have given an opportunity to someone who'd more than deserved it. However, when she'd begun to think of the relationship she'd created she also thought about how she could possibly be casting it aside in order to proceed with the mission. _

_But what was done was done. She couldn't withdraw her decision. She could only hope for the best._

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><p>Shikamaru took in Ino's information silently. He didn't interrupt her, nor questioned anything that she had to say when she paused at the last piece of information about her being a part of it. He tried to collect his thoughts and found himself dwelling on the fact that Hinata never once shared her feelings about everything at all. She hid them pretty well from it, that or he'd been ignoring them the entire time. Maybe she was tired of him sheltering her?<p>

He didn't quite have the answers to it all, but one thing he knew for sure was that it was exhausting him. He pinched the bridge of his nose before rubbing his temples. There was so much happening at once and so much he hadn't quite understood, even the part where Ino explained her uneasiness and how there was something strange about the guy that Hinata had been investigating.

The problem with all of that is that she allowed Hinata to go on the mission _knowing _that something wasn't right. Your gut feeling is almost always the best feeling. Your instincts tend to know when something is amiss. "Do you know where this guy is from?" Shikamaru managed out.

"I think the file said the guy was from Kumogakure." Ino replied, her brow furrowing. "Why?"

Shikamaru stood from his seat and rushed to gather his things. "We need to go where Hinata is right now. If she's already started the mission, I need to go to where she is and stop her." He moved to head out of the door, but Ino stopped him.

"Why? What's going on? What have you figured out?" She inquired, panic in her voice.

"Hinata's in danger." Shikamaru managed out, the worry settling into his voice.

He couldn't let it happen again. Not this time.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>First I would like to thank each and every one of you that have taken the time to review and have been patient with me. Thank you for reading about this crack pairing here. I never thought I'd like it, but I do. I really do. I think I like Hinata with just about anyone at this point because she's my beautiful little moon~ Also I just found out that my story was added to a community. Thank you! :D Also I just found out that my other two smut pieces **"What We Know; They Don't" **and **"Hot Minute"** was added to **Reportable Lemons** community. Don't know if that's a good thing or not, but what's smut without being reportable, right? lol [jk pls don't] xD Um, there's two chapters left and hopefully I can cram in my thoughts about how this should end. Speaking of which, I think it's funny that everyone is already making their assumptions about the ending here. Hilarious really, but keep your thoughts rolling [and the reviews cause I like em]. Hold on to hope, pray that it never fades! [lel] With that, I'm signing off. **[Lumiwolf]**


	10. Gore

**Author's Note: **Hey guys long time no see. I've been terribly busy and such. But here is chapter ten and then at the end I'll give more thoughts and um some feedback.

**Rated M for** Just like chapter one folks please, please if you feel squeamish don't read. It gets kinda heavy. Kinda crazy actually lol

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Gore<strong>

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><p>None of what had happened to her prior could be remembered. All that she knew was that she was back in a place that she knew she did not belong. She was falling deeply in an atmosphere that had made her most uncomfortable. This is not what she had wanted or had asked to happen. Who would ever ask for such a thing? How did she manage to get caught? Her mind ran through what she could remember over and over again and none of it made sense.<p>

What the Hyuga had known was that she hadn't made it to the extraction point. She hadn't gotten to the designated area that had been in her mission. The people that had been with her, she had no idea where they were either. Hinata didn't even know where _she _was and couldn't have expected to have known where everyone else was. Now she knew that she was going insane. All the questions that she had been asking herself had been trivial. None of what she felt she needed to know really mattered and none of what she really needed to know brought itself to the light.

Okay, admittedly she was scared. Hinata didn't want to experience what she had previously. She didn't want to go back to that dark place she'd been. For months she'd been preparing herself for the moment she could exact her revenge. She'd been plotting the time she would get to show him how he hadn't broken her. She was still in tact, all thanks to Shikamaru. When she was done, she would return home and take what Shikamaru had given her and try to put together the pieces of her own life on her own.

That was the plan up until this very moment.

She tried to wiggle her fingers, but couldn't. She tried to move her legs, but still couldn't. Hinata was bound, but by what she wasn't certain. It was after a while that she'd realized that her eyes were closed and that they weren't covered. Perhaps this was just a reaction to being previously bound before, because in this situation she could never be too sure. She was certainly afraid of what was to come. Not matter how much she'd thought she'd prepared herself, she was still afraid.

She narrowed her eyes and tried to get a good look at the place that she'd been secured in. It was very dark inside and a bit cool. No doubt she was in a cavern again. Since she couldn't see any light down the tunnel before her, she assumed she was very far inside of it. Again, she tried to move her arms and legs before tilting her head back to see what was keeping a hold on her. It was crystal. There weren't many shinobi that were able to conjure crystal and this had put her in a terrible predicament. She wasn't able to counter or break the crystal with any of her abilities.

Now she was more than just nervous and afraid. Hinata might have been a combination of the two. She could feel her heart race and her body stiffen. The Hyuga tried to calm herself, but she just couldn't keep it together. The chakra continued to flow through her body, so that meant that she was still able to use her abilities. But there were useless in this situation. She was useless in this situation. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to think of anything but where she was.

She tried to find that happy place.

The first thing that she could see was Shikamaru's smile. She could feel his gentle caress against her skin and his strong hands cupping her face. His warm body was pressed against her own. His scent filled her nose and she could hear his soft voice whisper her name gently. Slowly her body began to relax and as she opened her eyes she saw an unfamiliar face.

It certainly wasn't Shikamaru.

Her eyes widened at the sight of the male. All the hallucinations that she'd produced in her mind had begun to dissipate. And as she reeled herself into the present, she smelled the dark unwelcoming scent and finally had a face to match it. Oddly enough, it was just as she'd imagined him to be. His eyes were a dark blue, filled with a malicious intent. The enigma had bristles on his cheeks and appeared rugged and almost wild. His hair had been pulled back into a low ponytail, a messy one at that. From the way he looked and the way he had spoke to her while she'd been blindfolded, none of the two matched. He'd spoken with such tact, such delicacy towards her even though he'd damaged her in many ways.

"I heard…" He began as he moved to lay out a few tools on the floor. Hinata watched him carefully, her stomach clenching as he pilfered through odd shaped knives and kunai. She was so engrossed with what he'd had on the floor that when he'd snapped his head over at her she jumped. "Did you hear me? I heard about what's going on with you." He rose to his feet, a smile creeping up on his face.

"What are you talking about?" She finally replied, her visage remaining stoic.

"I'm talking about this!" He grabbed her hair and tugged her head off to the side so that she could see the kunai in his hand being pointed directly at her stomach. "There's something growing inside of you. Something that's mine." He drug the pointed end against her shirt and then began to undo the lapels of her coat. "I cannot tell you how happy I am or at least would be."

Hinata tried to keep her breathing even. There was so much that he was saying, almost as if he were talking aloud. She didn't quite understand him or what he was blubbering about. Her concerns had now lie on the budding being that had been growing in her stomach. She couldn't stand it if something happened to it, regardless of who it might have been.

The kunai moved up her body and then he pressed the blade against her neck. "I would be very happy had I not found out about you and that little brat that ruined our time together." Hinata's breathing hitched at this. Panic began to settle in and she wondered how could he have possibly known about Shikamaru? He was supposed to have cleared out by the time he'd arrived. Then another thought crossed her mind; how did he know that she'd been spending time with Shikamaru? "So now you see my situation? I was debating on whether or not I should take your eyes. I'd fallen for you. But when you'd gone back to him and you did all those things….it was as if you'd forgotten about it." He muttered bitterly.

"You'd forgotten the mark I'd left. So first I'm going to gouge your eyes and then you're coming with me to bear this child. I need to know the truth. I need to find out, who's little nugget this is." He tapped her nose gently. "But before any of that, you need to be punished and reminded who you're supposed to be with and what I can do to you if you don't follow my instruction." As he spoke to her, he'd begun to remove her clothing from her body. _ No, please no. _She thought as he ripped the fabric from her skin. Letting go of her hair, he took the kunai and began to slice at her thighs. Hinata whimpered and cried out as she tried to break herself free.

He was starting. Not again, not this again.

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><p>Shikamaru had gathered all of the tools that he'd needed and made his way out of the village. The Nara just couldn't believe that their Hokage had allowed this mission to be pushed forward. He couldn't believe that she'd allowed Hinata to go out again. But not only was he angry, but he was worried. He was worried about the girl that he'd fallen for. He was worried about her falling into that depressive state and being hurt again.<p>

"Shikamaru wait!" Ino called after him as he began to set foot out of the village. As she moved in closer to him, she eyed Shikamaru cautiously and noticed that he was going alone. The last time he'd done something so brazen was when Asuma had died. This was a Shikamaru that she didn't like and she worried for him. "Don't go alone. You just can't. Do you even know where she is?"

"Ino, trust me. I know where she is. I know where he has always been. I don't know why I didn't catch it sooner, but I'm going to bring her back myself. Alone. Just stay here and be ready when I come back. Just trust me on this one." There were no signs of Shikamaru backing down. His dark eyes were filled with determination, but his voice held an anxious tone. Ino always knew that when it came to Shikamaru stepping up, there was no way she could make him back down.

"Alright fine." Ino took a deep breath. "Fine, just hurry back. If you don't come back soon I'm sending someone for you."

"Alright. I promise I'll be back soon." _With Hinata and possibly this guy's head. _Shikamaru thought as he turned from his blond companion and hurried off into the wood. He knew exactly where this was. This guy knew what Hinata would do and he knew what Hinata was capable of. The fact that he was from that village set off a red flag in his mind. Not only was he after the secrets of the Hyuga clan, but now he was after Hinata. He just hoped that whatever he'd done, he would be able to bring her back in one piece.

He wasn't sure that she'd be able to handle much more trauma.

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><p>Hinata took deep breaths and exhaled. Over and over again, she tried to drown out the pain and think of other things. So far, he'd managed cut shallow marks into her thighs and slap her around a bit. The sting on her cheek confirmed that it might have been bruised. Her lip was split and swollen and she could feel the blood build in her mouth before she spit some of it out. However, all that he had done had only made him remain dissatisfied with the results. It just wasn't enough.<p>

He picked up the kunai that he'd tossed on the floor and leered at her. "Stop staring at me like that." He snarled at her as he reached for one of her eyes and actually began to remove it. Hinata tried to force her eyes shut as he did this in an effort to stop him from taking her sight. As if knowing she would do that, he grabbed a hold of her face and used his other hand to pry her eye open while the other removed it. And as he did, she could feel the nerves begin to disconnect in her left eye as her right one moved around frantically. She screamed and writhed in pain as he took part of her vision and placed it in what appeared to be a jar. Her body quivered as she felt the pain discharge throughout her body. Her singular piece of vision had become blurry from her tears and her head had begun to spin from the shock. Now, however, wasn't the time to try and catch her breath. He didn't stop there; he pulled out her next eye. Again she relived the experience a second time and continued to sob.

Hinata's body continued to shudder, but she lacked the strength to continue to fight against him. Every thought and feeling had been washing over her, overwhelming her. The perpetrator's actions had not been something that she had been expecting. He was usually very good at laying out and following through what he said he was going to do. Right now, he was just so angry at her and violent.

It was all just so surprising.

"Hinata you're so beautiful, but I need you to be quiet." He seethed as he covered her mouth and began to remove her undergarments. The Hyuga continued to cry quietly, unable to muster the strength to fight him off. She just wanted to get out. His hands moved against her body again, making her skin crawl. Sniffling, she struggled against him as she heard him begin to undress.

Oh no. Not this again.

There was no way she was going to allow him to do what he'd done before. She was at the point that she'd rather die before that happen. "This time you will be mine. You'll remember me this time, right Hinata? My beautiful moon, you'll remember me. I'll make sure of it." He growled as he moved to enter her. And with all her might, she broke through her bindings both legs and arms and lunged at the perpetrator. She couldn't see, but she could the kunai still in his hand as they stumbled to the floor.

Snatching it from his hand, she lifted the device up and began to swing downward. Hinata could hear his flesh tear, she could hear his gurgled cries as she continued to stab him. Her whole body shook as she attacked him and her mind went blank. She was still crying as she did this and no longer was she clinging to what sanity that she had left. "No, No, never again!" She repeated over and over again, even long after his body had become lifeless.

When she reeled back to continue stabbing, her wrist had been grabbed and the kunai had been tossed onto the cavern floor. Her body was being lifted and pulled into a warm embrace. Inhaling, she knew exactly who it was. Crying softly, her eyes remained shut as she pressed against him, not wanting to let go. "Shh, it's alright." Shikamaru whispered as he held Hinata close to his body. Over her shoulder he could see the corpse lie there, still.

He'd cursed to himself after seeing the body and continued to stroke her hair. The Shadow User hadn't managed to make it there on time, but somehow Hinata had managed to pull herself free. And then Hinata had decided the male's fate. He must have been caught off guard because there's no way that someone so calculating could have suspected she'd attack him that way. That could explain why her chakra continued to flow unlike the last time he'd pulled her out of this situation.

PIcking her up bridal style, he began to carry her out of the cave. On his way out, he noticed the lilac orbs sitting in the jar and stuffed them into his pocket. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he walked past the limp body on the ground and leered at it with disgust. Hinata's arms remained wrapped around his neck as he made his way to the exit.

Again, he'd managed to make it at the very last second.

But no matter what, he was going to repiece her again.

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><p>After much recuperation, Hinata was finally able to get out of bed. The light that she was able to see whenever she attempted to open her eyes had been a sign of hope. Sakura had been right when she'd said that her vision would return. Hinata remained bandaged for the most part and would for a while, but today was the day she would find out about the bump that had been growing inside.<p>

Hinata reached down and touched her stomach. It had been about a month since she'd last been to see Ino for a physical. But now it was time to find out who the father of the child actually was. She was nervous, but she thought about Shikamaru and what he had said to her when she'd finally told him. Hinata couldn't see his reaction, but she could tell from his silence that he had been absorbing everything she had told him. After a few moments of silence, Shikamaru had told her that none of what she had said mattered.

"Whatever happens, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It doesn't change how much I care about you." Was what he managed to say.

Right then, she felt like she could trust Shikamaru. But she also knew that if the two of them didn't work because of the results, that she was more than prepared to face whatever obstacle would come. There were a lot of things that she'd promised herself and told herself in the past. When everything had simmered down and she was thrust into a situation that she hadn't predicted the results of her actions were not something that she'd completely wanted. But she was satisfied either way. Now she was safe and the baby inside of her was safe as well.

No matter what, she was the mother of the child and she would make sure she would always be there for it. Not matter what.

After she was dressed, she managed to make it to the living area of her home with the help of Ko, her body guard. Returning home had not been as difficult as she had imagined. Everyone was more than supportive and attentive to her needs. Whether it had been because she had been the head of the household or not never really crossed her mind.

She was just thankful that everyone had been there for her.

Ko led her outside where Shikamaru had been waiting for her. The Nara reached for her and grabbed her hand and began to slowly walk her towards the clinic. For a while, they leisurely strolled in silence. It wasn't uncommon between the two, especially as of recently. She could feel that Shikamaru had been a bit apprehensive to begin any kind of conversation. Still, he remained tender to her when they weren't in public and that is what she had most expected from him.

She smiled to herself.

"What are you smiling about?" She could almost see him grinning in her direction. Most likely he was curious.

"Nothing, just thinking about you and this." She reached down to touch her belly and rubbed it tenderly.

"Well I've told you before. No matter-"

"'No matter what you're going to be here for me.' Yes, Yes I know. I believe you."Hinata grabbed a hold of his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I am a little nervous, but I think that no matter what happens between the two of us, that I will cherish every moment that we've had together."

Shikamaru took a moment to process what she'd said and then remained silent. He wasn't sure that he wanted to say goodbye and he was almost certain that Hinata would attempt to. This woman had been nothing but trouble since the moment she'd begun staying at his place. Shikamaru was almost certain that with all the trouble that he went through, he wasn't going to let her slip away from him so easily.

Their small chitchat came to a close when they'd finally arrived in front of the clinic. As they stepped through the doors, Ino stood waiting for them in the lobby. She smiled and nodded at Shikamaru as a greeting and took a hold of Hinata's free hand. "Come this way, I have a room waiting for you. We can discuss everything there."

Hinata took a deep breath and exhaled as Shikamaru remained by her side. The true test was about to begin and she wondered what would happen after they discovered the results. She squeezed Shikamaru's hand once more and bit her lip.

No matter the circumstances, she knew that she would love both Shikamaru and the baby regardless.

Whatever fate had in store for her, she was prepared to take it head on.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>There is indeed one more chapter after this. Just one more. Now, I just have to write it sometime this week if I have the time and then start my next story installment. This next one, I've been craving to write, simply because I think it will be really good and it's a Hinata pair I have never even thought of! It might even be a bit of a challenge. Also, I would like to apologize for my absence. When I said I was going to be busy, I am definitely really busy. Also, this chapter almost really didn't seemed to go as I had processed in my mind _**but **_I do believe that it is fine. Especially for my writing style. Well guys, see you soon! Thanks so much for hanging in there with me!


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